Journey Mercies . . .
Journey Mercies . . .
Have you ever prayed for someone who was going on a long trip? Maybe one that would take them to a place they have never been or one that could put them in harms way? Did you ever ask the Lord for journey mercies on their behalf? Sixteen years ago I divorced. After 23 years of marriage and four kids, I found myself alone. As traumatic as that was, the thought of being on my own was even more overwhelming. Would I be able to afford to stay in my home, pay my bills and move forward in my life? Was I strong enough to face the future head on? Who would ask for journey mercies on my behalf? I felt frozen.
Some of you know that feeling. No matter what situation you’re in, it starts in the pit of your stomach, creates a feeling of hopelessness and speaks loudly to your inner self . . “You’re never going to be able to do this.” It was the most devastating time in my life!
I had been working for O’Connor Mortuary nearly three years at that time, and when Joe O’Connor, the CEO, saw me struggling, he became the first of many who offered their wisdom. Like a child, I found myself eagerly paying attention, so I wouldn’t miss a thing.
I listened closely as he made suggestions and offered solutions. One turned out to be a most valuable asset. Sylvia Szabo-Larson, a friend of Joe’s and a fellow Rotarian. Meeting Sylvia was the first of many positive changes that I would make.
My initial appointment with Sylvia was certainly not what I expected. We talked about my fears of being single and that of being overwhelmed financially. Not only did she understand me, but had experienced some of those same fears. For the first time in a long time, I felt a sense of peace inside. This new someone was going to show me how to take care of myself. You would think, after 50 years of living, I could figure it out on my own. I was wrong! I had made some terrible decisions in my life, both personal and financial. Now they were all on the table. The journey had begun.
We began talking about my future. Really? Did I have a future at this late date? I couldn’t think past that moment, much less 20 years down the road. Her words cut to my core . . . “to build you will need to sacrifice.” How can I sacrifice when I don’t have anything left to give? Her reply, “you do, and you will.”
This was the first of many meetings, but each time we met, I realized that I was making positive changes and moving in the right direction. I listened and I responded. I realized that for me, sacrificing meant saying yes to hard work when all I wanted to do was say no! I trusted her expertise, achieved my goals, and have begun setting new ones. In the beginning of this journey, I was overcome with fear, but I learned that if I persevered I would succeed, and I did!
Here are four things I have found to be true, as I have moved through the past 16 years.
• It’s never too late to begin again! When we’re at our lowest the only way out is up! It’s ok to fail. It means you are trying, so pull yourself together and start again!
• Find quality people you trust. We all have access to people in our lives that we admire for their character, wisdom, or their ability to rise above adversity. Seek their advice, or use them as someone you are accountable to.
• Sacrifice. It’s better than the alternative. Becoming empowered financially was the first objective. It meant that down the road the proverbial “nest egg” would be waiting. Know in your heart that you can accomplish anything. You can!
• Keep Moving Forward. Be courageous and fearless. There will always be challenges, but they will strengthen your resolve to succeed. Hold fast to your commitments. Here’s a great link for women in transition or any of us looking for encouragement, education, and self empowerment: www.womansage.org/. They are dedicated to providing opportunities, experience and education though diverse programs that enhance and empower all women – their families, careers and communities.
None of this happened overnight. It took a long time for me to overcome the fear of failure, past, present and future. It was one step at a time, one decision at a time. My blog entries will be about the Journey Mercies I’ve received in my life whether they be joyful moments of success, difficult lessons, or simply the hugs from my grandchildren when I need them most.
Here are some questions for you:
Have you ever had to start over?
What was your greatest challenge and who did you turn to?
What was your greatest success? I’d love to hear your story!
Patricia
40 Comments
What an articulate and insightful way to continue your work of serving others! Wow. These comments are proof of your validity of spirit! I am so grateful to be able to call you my friend. You are courageous to share such an intimate story, but it is one that so many can relate to… therefore it was worth your effort. It is obviously written from the heart, but I do believe I felt your soul within as well. Thank you, my friend.
Diane:
Thank you so much for your note and for your support of my journey. It has been extremely cathartic to share again, and I look toward the future with eyes wide open. I hope that my words not only touch the reader, but give them a sense of hope. You are such a wonderful woman, strong and sensitive – a combination that creates a meaningful depth of character. I want you to know how blessed I’ve been to have you as a friend. You are so joyous and positive, and I know why your students loved you so dearly!
Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie . . .
I can’t believe that I have know you since you were in your 20’s . . . late 20’s that is! What a remarkable friend you have been to me. I have learned so much about the “power of pause” with you. You are the man that sits quietly, intently listening to whoever is across from you, taking in the conversation and never interrupting. You never raise your voice and always have a tidbit of wisdom to impart, whether you spoke it or it was revealed through your actions. You are a wonderful teacher. We have gone through some very hurtful times together and we have leaned on each other for strength. You, my friend, are a big part of my history with O’Connor, and I am grateful to have your constant support and love as I continue this journey.
Pat,
It has been awesome and wonderful to watch you become the butterfly you are today. Keep the faith and love in your life and the journey will always be entertaining. Thank you for being a part of my life, I,m so happy to be a part of yours.
Chuck Ricciardi
Wow, so many amazing comments here! What a testimony to the power of your own testimony, Aunt Pat! I’ve known and loved you for almost as long as I can remember. Growing up you were a sort of smiling hug that I just loved running into. Even more so now. It is a true privilege to sit next to you and hear your heart, your wisdom, your hopes & constant prayers for your children & grandchildren. Your journey has been a remarkable and the courage you displayed is awesome. But what I find all the more wonderful is that you are inspiring me NOW in your every day life as you sit at your desk.
I treasure you, this precious time that I get to work with you, and the lovely moments when our hearts get to speak together. I love your heart & I’m so happy that there is this place to share it. Thank you for the beautiful post.
Sweet Molly . . .
What a privilege it has been to watch you grow from that beautiful baby girl to a woman of substance! Who would have known that after all these years we would be sharing an office and enjoying the collaboration of our ideas. You are such a smart, savvy lady, tenderhearted and the very best of “listeners!” You are an old soul, Molly, as we move though our conversations together. I find that very heartwarming. Thank you for your deep, rich, heritage and your ability to create what I dream up in my mind. I love you dearly, and I am thankful for our “family” connection.
Aunt Pat
My friend,
Like others who have responded to this writing, I too have lived through much of this journey with you. There is something about this place we call work, O’Connor Mortuary, our work family, the people we spend more time with than our own family, that has an energy, power and force to help transform us from who we were when we started here, into people we would never have guessed we could become. I believe a great part of this is the influence of a man, his family and his desire to provide help to those in special need. It turns out that Joe O’Connor, Jr. loves to help others in time of need. He has created the environment where we have become part of his extended “family” to all who work under this roof. You and I have been two of the very fortunate beneficiaries of his character and faith lived out in everything he touches.
Your transformation has been truly remarkable. It is not without its difficulties, set backs and moments of panic. What has come from some of the darkest moments, is strength and resolve you could not have discovered in any other way. The shadow times also provided Joe O’Connor and others the opportunity to speak into your life, guide, suggest, direct and help you hope for better times. The better times have been more plentiful than the gray days, have they not? Thank you for giving me hope in many of my uncertain and joyless moments. I am thankful to you also for sharing in the seemingly impossible triumphs of yours and your family’s.
We never know when we meet anyone in life, just what our journey together will lead us to. It has been my privilege to any small part of yours.
Your friend.
To my dearest friend . .
You were the foundation that I used to build back that which was torn down. Our friendship is deep and goes back more years than I want to say, but being carpool buddies for 12 years, you were the one who sat quietly and listened to my broken spirit and damaged heart. You were the one who supported me and strengthened my resolve to push through those dark days. You showed me Grace. Not every woman has a best man friend. You are that to me. You, Karen, Molly and Andy have been family to me and I cherish that so much. A lot that I have learned over these past years is how you helped me to be able to show Grace to others. I hope that I am able to reflect all that I have learned from you to those who are traveling that unmarked road to who knows where. I want to be that mentor that you were to me. We have learned so much about life, friendship, devotion and unconditional love. Thank you for the gifts you have given to me, convincing me that there was a brighter future ahead. I believed you then . . . and I believe you now!