Journey Mercies . . .
Journey Mercies . . .
Have you ever prayed for someone who was going on a long trip? Maybe one that would take them to a place they have never been or one that could put them in harms way? Did you ever ask the Lord for journey mercies on their behalf? Sixteen years ago I divorced. After 23 years of marriage and four kids, I found myself alone. As traumatic as that was, the thought of being on my own was even more overwhelming. Would I be able to afford to stay in my home, pay my bills and move forward in my life? Was I strong enough to face the future head on? Who would ask for journey mercies on my behalf? I felt frozen.
Some of you know that feeling. No matter what situation you’re in, it starts in the pit of your stomach, creates a feeling of hopelessness and speaks loudly to your inner self . . “You’re never going to be able to do this.” It was the most devastating time in my life!
I had been working for O’Connor Mortuary nearly three years at that time, and when Joe O’Connor, the CEO, saw me struggling, he became the first of many who offered their wisdom. Like a child, I found myself eagerly paying attention, so I wouldn’t miss a thing.
I listened closely as he made suggestions and offered solutions. One turned out to be a most valuable asset. Sylvia Szabo-Larson, a friend of Joe’s and a fellow Rotarian. Meeting Sylvia was the first of many positive changes that I would make.
My initial appointment with Sylvia was certainly not what I expected. We talked about my fears of being single and that of being overwhelmed financially. Not only did she understand me, but had experienced some of those same fears. For the first time in a long time, I felt a sense of peace inside. This new someone was going to show me how to take care of myself. You would think, after 50 years of living, I could figure it out on my own. I was wrong! I had made some terrible decisions in my life, both personal and financial. Now they were all on the table. The journey had begun.
We began talking about my future. Really? Did I have a future at this late date? I couldn’t think past that moment, much less 20 years down the road. Her words cut to my core . . . “to build you will need to sacrifice.” How can I sacrifice when I don’t have anything left to give? Her reply, “you do, and you will.”
This was the first of many meetings, but each time we met, I realized that I was making positive changes and moving in the right direction. I listened and I responded. I realized that for me, sacrificing meant saying yes to hard work when all I wanted to do was say no! I trusted her expertise, achieved my goals, and have begun setting new ones. In the beginning of this journey, I was overcome with fear, but I learned that if I persevered I would succeed, and I did!
Here are four things I have found to be true, as I have moved through the past 16 years.
• It’s never too late to begin again! When we’re at our lowest the only way out is up! It’s ok to fail. It means you are trying, so pull yourself together and start again!
• Find quality people you trust. We all have access to people in our lives that we admire for their character, wisdom, or their ability to rise above adversity. Seek their advice, or use them as someone you are accountable to.
• Sacrifice. It’s better than the alternative. Becoming empowered financially was the first objective. It meant that down the road the proverbial “nest egg” would be waiting. Know in your heart that you can accomplish anything. You can!
• Keep Moving Forward. Be courageous and fearless. There will always be challenges, but they will strengthen your resolve to succeed. Hold fast to your commitments. Here’s a great link for women in transition or any of us looking for encouragement, education, and self empowerment: www.womansage.org/. They are dedicated to providing opportunities, experience and education though diverse programs that enhance and empower all women – their families, careers and communities.
None of this happened overnight. It took a long time for me to overcome the fear of failure, past, present and future. It was one step at a time, one decision at a time. My blog entries will be about the Journey Mercies I’ve received in my life whether they be joyful moments of success, difficult lessons, or simply the hugs from my grandchildren when I need them most.
Here are some questions for you:
Have you ever had to start over?
What was your greatest challenge and who did you turn to?
What was your greatest success? I’d love to hear your story!
Patricia
40 Comments
Pat,
Wish I could just go over there and give you a hug for writing this. You are such a strong woman and such a good friend and your story is so inspiring. As children of God we are blessed to know that All things work together for good to those who are the called according to his purpose. He’s so faithful to bring people to hold up our arms during those trying times and fill our hearts with unexplainable peace. Please continue sharing… this is powerful!
Maria
Maria
Thank you so much for your comments. We all have times in our lives where we need the support of others. Our circle of family and friends become the “ears” to hear our cries for help and to direct us to those who will serve us best. I know that you understand this better than most women your age. I would be the first to call on you and George for help if I knew of a family member or friend who delivered a premature baby. You know the struggles, heartaches and successes – and the importance of a strong support circle. Thank you again, for sharing your thoughts.
Pat
How can I possibly follow all of these beautiful comments? Mom, I am so intrigued and inspired by your story. This road was one I traveled with you quite intimately, yet reading your words (YOUR struggles and difficult decisions) leaves me with a very real sense of humility for the heartaches you endured. I often think of that time in our lives, though my thoughts invariably turn inward, seeking out my own lessons and blessings from that journey. I value so much the opportunity to appreciate this story from your own eloquent words. YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN. It is overwhelming to replay it all in my mind from your vantage point, imagining the angst and fear you felt. This life is your victory! (The previous comments are a testament to that.). Gaining such an articulate and loving person for a Mama is one of the greatest blessings God has given me from that journey. I can’t wait to read more….it’s wonderful getting to know you better! Love you, Mom.
I think of you, your love and support, each time I write. You have been there through the good and the bad and have encouraged me in countless ways. I remember the cards you would leave me that spoke of love and the possibilities of a new life. And after all these years . . . here I am. A new and better life. We Kolstad women are strong and are pioneers when it comes to new beginnings. Thank you, my darling daughter, for never giving up on me and for supporting me through my dark days. You are a gift and I will be forever grateful to you. I love you, dearly.
My Beautiful Mother,
I love you and have never been more proud that you are my mother than I am at this moment. You told your story eloquently and gave some sage advice. I am so grateful to the Lord for our relationship and for the restoration in our family.
Love, Kori Marie
My dear daughter. . . Ours is a story to be told. Who would have ever thought that so many years down the road we would all be together celebrating each others journey. May it never cease! The story is new and exciting. Let’s write it together! I love you dearly,
Momma
My sweet daughter
Without all of you, this story would have never been told. You all have given me the courage and strength to move forward each day with confidence in knowing who I am and where I want to be. I am equally proud of you and your journey. At some point I want to share your life then and now. I know that you would be a huge inspiration to those who may be struggling with their trials.
Thank you for your love and your support. It means so very much to me.
I love you . . . Mom
Pat,
Thanks for sharing your story. I have watched you grow all these years to become so confident and assured. You are an inspiration!
I appreciate you for all you do and am so glad you’re a part of my and my family’s life.
Fitz
Thank you Fitz, for your sweet comments.
It has been an incredible journey, and one that you have watched unfold. Simply put, you have been an integral part of my growth and for that I am profoundly grateful. It has been wonderful to know you and your sweet family and watch your children grow into such incredible young people. You are blessed, as I am by your friendship.
Pat
You are a courageous woman, an inspiration to others. We could all learn from you. Thanks for being so open and honest about your personal journey.
Thank you, Amy, for your kind words.
In my life I have learned that we all travel a road with peaks and valleys. I’ve also learned that it’s ok to be in the valleys . . that’s where all the hard work is done, and where we can appreciate the view from the mountain tops! I have also learned that we need support. Whether it be from family, a pastor, a close friend or mentor. Being able to share life’s disappointments helps us through. Each day is a gift, and I have chosen to live out the rest of my days with a heart of gratitude for my life and for those who have supported and helped me along the way. I have been blessed beyond measure.