Journey Mercies . . .
Journey Mercies . . .
Have you ever prayed for someone who was going on a long trip? Maybe one that would take them to a place they have never been or one that could put them in harms way? Did you ever ask the Lord for journey mercies on their behalf? Sixteen years ago I divorced. After 23 years of marriage and four kids, I found myself alone. As traumatic as that was, the thought of being on my own was even more overwhelming. Would I be able to afford to stay in my home, pay my bills and move forward in my life? Was I strong enough to face the future head on? Who would ask for journey mercies on my behalf? I felt frozen.
Some of you know that feeling. No matter what situation you’re in, it starts in the pit of your stomach, creates a feeling of hopelessness and speaks loudly to your inner self . . “You’re never going to be able to do this.” It was the most devastating time in my life!
I had been working for O’Connor Mortuary nearly three years at that time, and when Joe O’Connor, the CEO, saw me struggling, he became the first of many who offered their wisdom. Like a child, I found myself eagerly paying attention, so I wouldn’t miss a thing.
I listened closely as he made suggestions and offered solutions. One turned out to be a most valuable asset. Sylvia Szabo-Larson, a friend of Joe’s and a fellow Rotarian. Meeting Sylvia was the first of many positive changes that I would make.
My initial appointment with Sylvia was certainly not what I expected. We talked about my fears of being single and that of being overwhelmed financially. Not only did she understand me, but had experienced some of those same fears. For the first time in a long time, I felt a sense of peace inside. This new someone was going to show me how to take care of myself. You would think, after 50 years of living, I could figure it out on my own. I was wrong! I had made some terrible decisions in my life, both personal and financial. Now they were all on the table. The journey had begun.
We began talking about my future. Really? Did I have a future at this late date? I couldn’t think past that moment, much less 20 years down the road. Her words cut to my core . . . “to build you will need to sacrifice.” How can I sacrifice when I don’t have anything left to give? Her reply, “you do, and you will.”
This was the first of many meetings, but each time we met, I realized that I was making positive changes and moving in the right direction. I listened and I responded. I realized that for me, sacrificing meant saying yes to hard work when all I wanted to do was say no! I trusted her expertise, achieved my goals, and have begun setting new ones. In the beginning of this journey, I was overcome with fear, but I learned that if I persevered I would succeed, and I did!
Here are four things I have found to be true, as I have moved through the past 16 years.
• It’s never too late to begin again! When we’re at our lowest the only way out is up! It’s ok to fail. It means you are trying, so pull yourself together and start again!
• Find quality people you trust. We all have access to people in our lives that we admire for their character, wisdom, or their ability to rise above adversity. Seek their advice, or use them as someone you are accountable to.
• Sacrifice. It’s better than the alternative. Becoming empowered financially was the first objective. It meant that down the road the proverbial “nest egg” would be waiting. Know in your heart that you can accomplish anything. You can!
• Keep Moving Forward. Be courageous and fearless. There will always be challenges, but they will strengthen your resolve to succeed. Hold fast to your commitments. Here’s a great link for women in transition or any of us looking for encouragement, education, and self empowerment: www.womansage.org/. They are dedicated to providing opportunities, experience and education though diverse programs that enhance and empower all women – their families, careers and communities.
None of this happened overnight. It took a long time for me to overcome the fear of failure, past, present and future. It was one step at a time, one decision at a time. My blog entries will be about the Journey Mercies I’ve received in my life whether they be joyful moments of success, difficult lessons, or simply the hugs from my grandchildren when I need them most.
Here are some questions for you:
Have you ever had to start over?
What was your greatest challenge and who did you turn to?
What was your greatest success? I’d love to hear your story!
Patricia
40 Comments
What an inspiration for me- thank you so much for sharing your well-earned wisdom, Pat! I have learned from your experience & am grateful you are willing to talk about your journey. Thank you!
Carrie
I’m so proud of your transformation. You are becoming a woman of strength and passion, and one that I am proud to work along side. Your life’s story will include some very poignant times, and you will become a mentor to others as you share your walk with them. I see your strength and your willingness to do the hard work. I’m so proud of you!
Pat –
Life is full of stop & starts, struggle, struggle, struggle and then freedom. When we think we have it “all” we really have nothing, and when we think we have nothing, we really have everything we need already.
The circle of trust, “family & friends” can help guide us when we are drifting in life. I can relate to searching for many answers in life, most of the answers I looked for came from a dear friend of family member who helped shape me.
I have seen you get uncomfortable with your self and become bold with your perceptive, to me that is success.
I have enjoyed watching you grow over these years, you make me proud to be in your company.
My dear friend
We have experienced much together these past 19 years. We have laughed deeply, cried unashamedly, and celebrated with all our hearts, and struggled to understand each others views. You have been an integral part of who I have become, as a woman, a colleague, a survivor, and a leader. Thank you for your support, love, friendship, guidance and your desire to see me succeed. I will forever be thankful.
MP,
You are such a role model to those of us who are single and have to make life decisions for ourselves.
I was in the midst of starting over a few years before coming to work with you. I had not been working for a couple of years and did not have any idea of what I was interested in doing as full time work. It was a very depressing time for me. I felt very lost.
Around that time I began attending Saddleback Church. I volunteered in various ministries and formed some wonderful friendships. While serving in the Memorial Ministry I met many of the directors from O’Connor. I knew I had found my home.
I am so excited about this chapter of my life. I enjoy my work family and how we serve families together.
Continued Journey Mercies to you!!
Love you,
Lori
Lori . . . my adopted daughter.
Thank you for your note and for sharing your journey with me and others. It never ceases to amaze me how we all came to this family. Our lives are so intertwined with stories of heavy burdens, sacrifices, answered prayer, celebration, gratefulness, joy, peace, contentment. Not always in that order, and not always inclusive. But it gives us reason to hope for a better tomorrow. I believe this to be true . . that we are all responsible for our lives and for what we choose to do with them. We can sit back on our laurels and hope someone will take care of us, or we can move forward and take charge. And like the Nike sports giant says, “just do it!” We have the strength, we just need cheerleaders. And whether we make it or we fail . . we did it on our own. Failure is the challenge to rise again. Failing without a renewed plan is tragic. We need to be the role models for our girls, our teens, our young women, and those ladies who never expected to be alone and facing the future with little hope. We need to be “in the present” and offer our support and our resources.
Well said!!
Dear Pat,
What a beautifully written and meaningful piece! Knowing you as I do, I am not surprised by your wise and most insightful presentation. I found so many personally useful and meaningful “pieces of advice” to think about and to ponder in my own life! Thank you for sharing such a personal, and educational journey with all of us and for giving us ways to face our own journies. I can always count on you to put life’s trials into perspective and to give useful advice on how to face them. You have done that again. Love the four things you have learned, will put them where I can see them all the time! I forwarded this to my daughters and husband too!
I am so impressed my friend! I am looking forward to more .
Cheryl
My goodness, hasn’t this been an amazing friendship! From marketing colleagues to dear, dear friends. I have so enjoyed our deep, heartfelt talks as we have traversed Lake Mission Viejo. We have literally “spilled our guts” as we have cried and laughed at ourselves and our families. I believe that when you are passionate about something, it matters to share. We have discussed our heartaches and our days of joy. We have celebrated the births of our grandchildren and how amazingly they have changed our lives. And out of those conversations, we now have a lifelong friendship. Thank you for always being there for me. It matters more that I will ever be able to express. Lake Mission Viejo – here we come!
Pat, just a note to say “thank you” for sharing some of your life’s journey with us. You stated it very well, that we need to both seek out and savor the “journey mercies” that we may and in fact do receive during our personal journeys of life. What a terrific accomplishment when we can encounter those who can help us so that we may then be emboldened to move forward in turn to help others. Congrats to you on your personal strength and goal achievements!
Greg
Greg . . . thank you so much.
It’s been so wonderful getting to know you and really seeing your desire to make a difference in the lives of those we serve. I feel that you are on a journey as well, taking a path that most would hesitate to travel. I sense your commitment and passion for service to others, and I want you to know that I will support you and help you in anyway that I can. We are all on this journey together, whether we realize it or not. It matters to me that I walk along side strangers and friends, as did those who walked my road with me. Thank you for your strength and stick-to-it-tiveness, in a profession that you see no acknowledgment until a family says . . . “Thank you so much for helping to make this process so much easier for us and for our family” I see that happening for you. Never give up!
Pat