Do you Believe in Lies? I have – and I probably still do.
Do you believe in lies? I have – and I probably still do.
This concept of “believing lies” is fairly new to me, something that I feel is just dawning as a realization.
I have believed lies about myself for a long time. I began to realize this when I noticed a strange little voice that would sneak up inside of me at some of my more vulnerable times and say things like, “Oh dear, Molly, that was a weird thing to do,” “They think you’re stupid,” “You shouldn’t have made that decision,” “They don’t like you,” etc . . . These phrases sound sort of strange all linked together but these were some of the things this voice would say to me. It said them so subtly that I went years, decades, without knowing.
This voice appears usually in my more vulnerable moments where I feel insecure and find myself second-guessing whatever I’ve done or said. It knows my insecurities and fears and it preys upon them, growing them into such big ideas or strongly rooted beliefs that I have believed dark and horrible things about myself – that I wasn’t worth anything, that I’m a failure, that I’m fooling people & I’m really a stupid, sham of a girl.
Harsh, isn’t it?
But I have a hunch that you believe things like this, too. Here’s why I think that; I had the idea to write this blog somewhere around 8 months ago & had planned to share it on a private little forum of my own. I never did. I began thinking, “No one will read it or like it, other people don’t have these voices, everyone will think it’s a stupid idea”. It took a long time, 6 months, before I realized that those were lies.
This has been the hardest blog I’ve had to write but I think it’s important, I think you and I deserve to know that this voice I hear & believe is a false one that wants me to fail, wants me to remain insecure & stumbling over myself.
I won’t do it anymore.
Now I can identify the lies fairly quickly, it seems as though they come in questions at times – like proposals to me that I can choose to believe or reject. Other times it seems like a loud voice yelling at me telling me in a confident anger how I’ve failed. I hear the voice & I stop it. I say to it (in my head & sometimes aloud) “No, that’s not true and I’m not going to believe that about myself. That’s not true and what you’re saying has no power here”. Responding that way has helped a lot, I find a lot of unreasonable guilt has left me, I feel more healthy emotionally, and my relationships are more open & honest.
I encourage you to identify beliefs you hold about yourself that aren’t true – this is no easy task as the voice has probably been speaking to you since you were a child & it’s hard to pull apart such deep-rooted lies – but you can do it & you need to.
Consider this when looking for those lies: What are your insecurities? Where are you most vulnerable? What about yourself do you treasure the most? – These are the areas I have experienced the most attack & self-doubt.
If you want to further explore this topic I highly recommend reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis – it is an incredible, fascinating, and brain-punching book on how Satan works upon our minds & insecurities; on how he lies to us. Read it, you’ll be blown away – Screwtape is alive and well.
What lies do you believe?
Have you considered this concept before?
What is your action plan to combat these?
31 Comments
Dear Molly,
You have taken the first step of really ACKNOWLEDGE your inner voice or Sub Conscious. Then
This is what gives your inner strength to do something that will make you understand
the Feelings your are going thru which are “NEGATIVE”” thoughts about how we think of ourselves,
what we are thinking at the Moment that gave us these thoughts. It happens when we lease expect
it. So we have to “CHANGE” the thought to a “POSITIVE” one. Believe me it is not easy but that
is what needs to be done. In order the “NEGATIVE” thought doesn’t take over. Try it, It Works!!!
I have been listening to Dr. Amen for a few years and learn Soooo much about how our minds work.
We have control of our thoughts and only we can “CHANGE” it. First you must “LOVE” yourself will
help so very much, it gives you self confidence, to like yourself, this is important then you can feel the
caring in you. It opens your Heart more. And you will start feeling good about yourself and
Positive thinking will give you “FAITH” in yourself. You could not be doing the work of helping others
if you were not a “GIVING” Person. Dr. Amen comes on TV on week-end try to see his program.
There are times I get off my Positive thoughts and it takes me back. But one can learn to know when it
Happens and change. Give yourself time to realize when it happens. You can do it!!!. Don’t be hard
on yourself . When we care about our self, you will feel a change of confidence that you can get thru
anything. Being good to oneself. Give yourself a “HUG” for being you & honest. Blessing to you.
My Thoughts has always been and I live by it. “ALL WAYS BE GOOD TO “MYSELF” We all have
a gift Loving, Caring, Thoughtfulness for OTHERS. From GOD’S Grace. You do too.
A Dear Friend,
“FRANNIE”
Thank you so much for your kind words, Frannie! I really appreciate you taking the time to read this blog & respond, it means a lot to me & I’m so glad that it resonated with you.
Have a great weekend!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Frannie! I really appreciate you taking the time to read this blog & respond, it means a lot to me & I’m so glad that it resonated with you.
Hi Molly
What a great concept to consider – again! I think we all listen to that destructive voice in our head and heart – decidedly more than we should. Even when we know where that voice is coming from, why do we pay attention and give it so much heed and let it affect our mood, our actions and our beliefs about ourselves?
By your bringing this topic out in the open for me to consider and ponder once again, I will try harder to shut that voice out of my mind and heart, because I know it isn’t how God would have me feel about myself and others. God is love and kindness and powerful. And when we listen to His voice inside of us, then we become the same way in how we feel about ourselves and others.
Thank you for being willing to share such personal information – you are an amazing woman for one so young. I look forward to our continued association and your sweet example and influence.
Sincerely,
Sharon
Thanks so much, Sharon. It was a really tough blog to write but I was confident that it had some power behind it. I’m glad it paid off & I really appreciate your kind words & openness to this idea. Thanks for responding!
Molly,
Wow I love your topic. It is so true that we all have this voice that convinces us on things that are not always true. I commend you for sharing such a personal but amazing topic. Yes, sometimes we do things that deserve criticism and are stupid but even with these things I believe you always should stand behind what you do or say, usually there is truth behind everything we do, but sometimes how we express it might need editing. Thank you for sharing!!
Shayna
Shayna that is so well said! You are absolutely right about self-critique & the importance of recognizing ourselves in the things we say and do. Even if I regret making a comment it is still so important to go back and analyze what prompted it, where it came from & why I would react in such a poor or insensitive way. We do have to stand behind what we say but a lot of times, for me, that means recognizing major flaws like jealousy, anger, resentment or pride.
Thanks so much for that great insight, I LOVE it.
Molly Girl,
I really enjoyed reading this blog and learning something about you that I never would have guessed for myself. I’ve enjoyed watching this beautiful, bright eyed, genuine, content, peaceful creature grow and mature since you were just a wee one, and I’ve never seen this in you. I look at you and think “wow” she’s got a handle on everything!! I’m so glad you’re just like me, and hundreds of other women who struggle with “that voice.” I participated in a wonderful study with some ladies a few years ago titled, “Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets them Free” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I found it very helpful, along with “Me, Myself, and Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover” by Jennifer Rothschild. I’ve actually picked them up over and over again just to review, and gain strength. That pesky voice somehow manages to creep back in from time to time. A dear friend of mine once said that our lives are one long train ride. The trip takes a lot of twists and turns, some highs and lows, and sometimes we just need to throw some baggage off the train. I really like the image of that in my head. Traveling along, something gets in the way, or goes awry and I pick up this suitcase and just hurl it from the train. I lighten my mental load, and keep traveling on.
Love you sweet girl!!
Kari
Kari! I’m going to have to take a look at those books. I didn’t even know they existed!
Of course I’m screwed up! Haha! It’s that tried and true saying, “you can’t judge a book by it’s cover” – but I am trying to make my cover a little more like my insides. In church we talk about the importance of not “appearing” to be ok when you aren’t ok. Well, I almost never am and while there isn’t always a time & place to sit down & share everything I really want to become a more transparent person and have these issues in my life not be secrets but be new ways I can connect with others.
Thank you so much for your response & the wisdom you bring to this subject. You are a beautiful & inspiring person & I am thrilled to connect with you now over this post!
My sweet Molly
Long ago there were times when I believed that I was “worthless, unlovable, full of sin and not redeemable.” I struggled for the longest time, and it took many years for me to come to a point in my life where I could throw off the burden of self-loathing and not listen to that voice that repeated those words in my head.
When we make mistakes in our lives, or when someone takes the opportunity to make you feel less that you are, we tend to believe that. Why? Because if it were not true, why would they say it?
So . . are we going to believe the lies? Yes, unfortunately, we do. And what does it take to denounce the lies? In my life it has taken time. It has taken strength, perseverance and the willingness to be the person and live the life that God intended for me to live. As I continue to move forward I realize that each day is a gift. We can wake up knowing who we are or we can let that voice tell us we are nothing. We can overcome it. For me the strength to do that came from within.
Today, I feel a sense of complete gratitude for the life I have now, for the purpose I have now, and for the ability to know that, as Aibileen said to the wee small child in the movie The Help . . .
You is kind, You is smart, You is important!
Thanks, Molly. . . for your wisdom, for sharing and for the lessons we continue to learn.
AP
I love you! I think the hard part about writing this was realizing that the voice is probably never going to go away. That it will be something I struggle with, like you, for my entire life. We don’t out-grow, out-smart or kill it – but we can minimize it & starve it. I love your idea of waking up with a confidence & surety of self. I don’t do that & I’m going to start making a conscious effort to wake up & begin defining myself for the upcoming day. Thank you for the great idea & as always, for your love & support.
Love you!