Do you Believe in Lies? I have – and I probably still do.

Do you Believe in Lies? I have – and I probably still do.

Do you believe in lies? I have – and I probably still do.

This concept of “believing lies” is fairly new to me, something that I feel is just dawning as a realization.

I have believed lies about myself for a long time. I began to realize this when I noticed a strange little voice that would sneak up inside of me at some of my more vulnerable times and say things like, “Oh dear, Molly, that was a weird thing to do,” “They think you’re stupid,” “You shouldn’t have made that decision,” “They don’t like you,” etc . . . These phrases sound sort of strange all linked together but these were some of the things this voice would say to me. It said them so subtly that I went years, decades, without knowing.

This voice appears usually in my more vulnerable moments where I feel insecure and find myself second-guessing whatever I’ve done or said. It knows my insecurities and fears and it preys upon them, growing them into such big ideas or strongly rooted beliefs that I have believed dark and horrible things about myself – that I wasn’t worth anything, that I’m a failure, that I’m fooling people & I’m really a stupid, sham of a girl.

Harsh, isn’t it?

But I have a hunch that you believe things like this, too. Here’s why I think that; I had the idea to write this blog somewhere around 8 months ago & had planned to share it on a private little forum of my own. I never did. I began thinking, “No one will read it or like it, other people don’t have these voices, everyone will think it’s a stupid idea”. It took a long time, 6 months, before I realized that those were lies.

This has been the hardest blog I’ve had to write but I think it’s important, I think you and I deserve to know that this voice I hear & believe is a false one that wants me to fail, wants me to remain insecure & stumbling over myself.

I won’t do it anymore.

Now I can identify the lies fairly quickly, it seems as though they come in questions at times – like proposals to me that I can choose to believe or reject. Other times it seems like a loud voice yelling at me telling me in a confident anger how I’ve failed. I hear the voice & I stop it. I say to it (in my head & sometimes aloud) “No, that’s not true and I’m not going to believe that about myself. That’s not true and what you’re saying has no power here”. Responding that way has helped a lot, I find a lot of unreasonable guilt has left me, I feel more healthy emotionally, and my relationships are more open & honest.

I encourage you to identify beliefs you hold about yourself that aren’t true – this is no easy task as the voice has probably been speaking to you since you were a child & it’s hard to pull apart such deep-rooted lies – but you can do it & you need to.

Consider this when looking for those lies: What are your insecurities? Where are you most vulnerable? What about yourself do you treasure the most? – These are the areas I have experienced the most attack & self-doubt.

If you want to further explore this topic I highly recommend reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis – it is an incredible, fascinating, and brain-punching book on how Satan works upon our minds & insecurities; on how he lies to us. Read it, you’ll be blown away – Screwtape is alive and well.

What lies do you believe?

Have you considered this concept before?

What is your action plan to combat these?

Molly Keating
Molly Keating
Hello! I'm Molly and I run & manage the Blog here at O'Connor. I grew up in a mortuary with a mortician for a father who's deep respect for the profession inspired me to give working at a mortuary a try. Work at O'Connor has brought together two of my deep passions, writing & grief awareness. In 2016 I earned Certification in the field of Thanatology, the study of Death, Dying and Bereavement. I am honored to be able to speak on these taboo topics with knowledge, compassion, and a unique perspective. I want to sincerely thank you for following & reading the blog, I hope that this is a healing place for you.

31 Comments

  1. Hi Molly –

    WOW, where do I start with my monkey mind telling me the crazy things are true. For most my life I have been pretty positive and not letting the ANTS (automatic, negative, thoughts) drive me insane. That all went out the window when Jesse Joe arrived in my life. I never really thought I was a fearful person, the first year my mind was racing with all these “what if thoughts”. My biggest fear was that I was going to drop little Jesse Joe when I was walking down the stairs. From there all the other crazy bad thoughts crept into my silly little head. Then one day my Dad said 99% of thing you worry about in life never come true. So anytime an ANT creeps into my head I let it go with a pray or a really positive thought, life the ‘GOLDEN BUBBLE”. The Golden Bubble is the glowing light of Gods protect surrounding my little boy or Lisa. Call me crazy at least I am not insane ………………… yet?

    Thanks for the words of encouragement!!!

  2. Molly says:

    Neil,
    It’s so crazy to me how capable our minds are of change. How one event or one person can change everything in our world and create a whole new set of lies or unnecessary burdens for us to bear. I’m so glad you are able to turn to prayer for peace & safety, it is such a powerful tool. Thanks for sharing your struggles with us & for being real.
    I’m so glad you found this post encouraging!

  3. Amy says:

    Talk about a topic that hits home! I often find myself feeling less then and stupid. What could I have done better, how could I have worked harder or what was I thinking. You never want anyone to know how your feeling especially in this vulnerable state. I commend you for being so open and honest with your life experience. It gives me the strength and courage to stand up to the feelings and know that I am better then that. I am definitely going to get your book recommendation. Always looking for self help and awareness. Thank you for being such an amazing courageous woman.
    Amy

    • Molly says:

      Amy, thank you so much. I feel so much relief in knowing I’m not alone in this & that even power-house women like you have those moments. Thanks for taking the time to read this & be such an encouragement. I hope you enjoy the Screwtape Letters – I’d love to talk to you about it if you get around to reading it!

  4. Molly,

    Insecurity and fear alway seek residence where they are not welcome. I believe their presence in our lives is to make our faith in ourselves stronger and more defined. When you meet up with fear and insecurity in the future, thank them for their visit. Thank them for their role in making you a stronger woman. Thank them for helping you appreciate and embrace your power and importance to the world. Thank then with a smile and then show them the door out of your life. Peace Always! Chris

    • Molly says:

      A great perspective, Chris! I completely agree that we can grow stronger from these experiences. My problem for so long was not identifying the feelings for what they were – fears, lies, irrational thoughts, etc . . . Knowing what they are now I am able to find strength as I turn them down where before they crippled & weakened me.
      I’m a big fan of the calm, cool & collected way you talk about dealing with them. It’s something I’m going to try out.
      Thanks Chris!

      • Christopher Iverson says:

        Molly,

        I believe that fear, lies, irrational thoughts, etc…they know that their is “no room in your inn.” You are a very powerful woman. Continue the embrace! Peace Always! Chris

  5. Shasta says:

    Great post, Molly. I have felt that way too, and it surprises me that you have! I think it’s important to tell yourself positive things whenever those voices come up. I think that when u start believing what you tell yourself, you become it eventually, whether good or bad.

    • Molly says:

      Absolutely! We really do have to filter how & what we think about ourselves by objectively asking if there is truth in the allegation. I’ve also realized that a lot of the negative things I’ve believed about myself I have turned on other people and unfairly judged them.
      Thanks for responding to my post, I’m really glad that you found truth in it for yourself & made me think a little bit more about all this!

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