Out with the Old, In with the New: Changing by Choice

We’ve all heard the saying “Out with the old, in with the new.”  It’s quite simple to understand and easier to say, but like most advice we give to one another, this is a very difficult thing to actually DO.  As I think about my life now there are so many new places where I am applying this phrase and as good as that is, some of the changes I’m facing are HUGE and definitely overwhelming.

I’m not great at choosing change, it usually needs to be forced on me and I’m guessing many of you are also like that. Most of us have probably already forgotten our resolutions, whatever they were – maybe to exercise more, eat healthy, build our nest egg, or go back to school, move up in our career. These conscious decisions for change that we make annually with the aim to let go of the old habits, routines & roadblocks can be so difficult to hold ourselves to that without real motivation or necessity we can let them slip. Back to the old.

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Well I’ve certainly been one of these people – change is difficult & usually uncomfortable. I’m also quite stubborn & sentimental so unless I’m forced to make a change, I tend to remain right where I am.  But recently I realized how detrimental this thought process is to my future & I my resolution this year is to embrace the new & throw out the old.  I’m a bit terrified but also so excited!

Here’s what’s happening to me:

“Will you marry me?” – Ummmm, what?  Here I thought we were just having our regular sushi night & then the question is popped.  Because of a painful divorce, I was adamant I would never get married again.  Nobody would have that kind of control over me, ever.  I’ve been in a great relationship for a few years now but had intentionally built walls between us thinking I was protecting myself.  In about 5 seconds I toppled down those walls & said, “YES!” Why should my old life hold me back from a new one?

It was time to throw out the old thoughts…

Moving – One of my first blogs was about my home being my sanctuary. Now I need to sell it. I still haven’t fully wrapped my head around this huge change & the logistics alone are overwhelming. So far I have donated or packed up the things a prospective buyer might consider clutter. My sanctuary is now unfamiliar to me & it feels weird. I don’t like being unsettled. However, it’s time to rip up these roots & plant them in a place where they can grow.

Out with the old surroundings…

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What’s my name? – Like many professionals, I will be hyphenating my name rather than changing it entirely. I want to ensure that my client families know that I’m still here & that everyone else knows I’m still Care Bayer, just with a few extra letters added on.

So, in with a new name…  : )

I talk with the families I serve about finding their “new normal” (nothing ever returns to normal after a death) in the months & years that follow their loss. While finding my new normal is nowhere near as heartbreaking or extreme as theirs, I must begin to take my own advice. 

Take each day as it arrives, see the opportunities as they are presented, and find comfort in the vulnerability of changing.

What do you THINK . . .

How have you most recently thrown out the old & brought in the new?

How did it change you?

Do you openly subscribe to this mindset or do you need force?

Has something prevented you from embracing it?

Thank you for sharing!