“I Just Need a Little of Your Time”: 3 Ways to Give the Gift of You
Have you ever felt so strongly that God is trying to tell you something?
You know the feeling I’m talking about? I’m referring to those times when He puts it in your face until you get the recurring theme.
I had just such an experience this week. It took me three times to realize what he was saying very clearly. As you continue reading, see if my lesson becomes clear to you.
Clue #1 came when I attended a Memorial Service for the mother of a dear friend. I enjoyed hearing stories about their frequent phone calls to each other. I was a bit envious that she was able to see her mom multiple times each week and mine lives out of state.
My tears fell not only because I felt empathy for my friend, but I now realize I was also jealous of her joy. I have a wonderful mother, whom I love with all of my heart. I am fortunate to see her as often as I do considering she lives out of state. I realized I was jealous that my friend has no regrets and I wondered if I will be able to say the same.
Clue #2 was on the following day when I went over to visit my Grandma. Due to my hectic schedule I usually combine one of her doctor’s appointments with our visits. My heart sank as I entered her apartment and watched my ninety-eight year old grandmother hurry to put on her jacket and grab her purse. It didn’t even occur to her that I was just coming over to visit.
We spent nearly three hours together. I offered to take her out by the pool to get some sunshine. She said she just wanted to visit. We sat and talked about everything from her friend who has been in the hospital to her great grandmother who had nineteen children and visited them every summer.
I could tell she did not want me to leave. She continued to ask me questions as I headed toward the door. Again she broke my heart when she said, “This was the best visit we’ve ever had. I know you are busy, but I wish we could do it more often”. I held back my tears as I promised her that we would.
I went on to my appointment and stopped to grab dinner afterward at my favorite local spot, Casa Ranchero. As I sat at an outdoor table, I could overhear a conversation between an adult son and his mother. He told her he had to get on the road before the traffic got any worse. She kept telling him she didn’t want him to leave. Clue #3.
It was as I sat and finished my meal that I had my epiphany. The three scenarios swam around in my head. “I’ve got it! Spend morequalitytime with the people I love! I hear you loud and clear, Lord.”
My mind continues to wander back to my friend who had such a great relationship with her mom. What a marvelous feeling to have “no regrets”. It is not too late for me to change and make myself more available. I could have that same satisfaction of having almost “no regrets” when the time comes to eulogize my mother and grandmother.
I have come up with the following 3 ways to commit and give the gift of my time:
1. Make & keep personal appointments
2. Avoid being rushed or preoccupied when spending time with loved ones
3. Fill the time with love and kindness
Who do you need to make and keep personal appointments with?
How will you make positive changes in order to have almost “no regrets”?
Have you had similar wake-up calls like the one I had?
29 Comments
sigh. . way to make a girl cry first thing in the morning!
I have too many regrets to count at this stage of my life, but I hope I can correct some of them before it is too late. I too have been feeling the tug of needing family, friend time. . and living in another state makes it more and more difficult. Thank you for the reminder that it NEEDS to be accomplished before it becomes too late and too much time has passed. With that being said Lori. . lets YOU and ME make an appointment to talk on the phone at least once a month okay? Miss and love you. I am thinking some road trips are in my future as well.
Judy,
Can’t believe we have done over 40 years of life together as BFF’s!!!!
We must be getting sentimental in our old age.
I love and miss you and the boys so much! One of my biggest regrets was not spending more time with you guys when you were here.
So…….phone appt Friday? And then of course another one on the eleventh for your BDay!!!
Love you!!!!!
I’m not sure how many moments I have left with my Gramma Edna (99 yrs young), so each time I visit her, I always make sure she knows how much I love her and I think to myself “this could be our last hug”. It’s sad, but true.
You and I have been friends for 25 years, and although we don’t live near each other anymore, we always pick up where we left off each time we talk or see each other. You are right, if we don’t “make the appointments”, then we always say “oh, we need to get together soon”. I have found that pinning you down to a “day” is my key to seeing your crazy face!!
Now that my daughter is away at college, I am finding that I’m the one that is like your Gramma. I will do anything and everything to “stall” her into staying a little while longer before she has to drive up north back to college. It’s never easy watching her drive away.
Things sure come full circle in life, and God has blessed me with wonderful friends and family. Thank you for this blog, it’s always a good reminder to make time for the ones that we cherish the most.
Mel,
I can’t believe it has been 25 years, but know we have squeezed a lot of living into it.
I have been incredibly blessed to be part of your immediate and extended families.
I am so lucky to count Justin and Marissa among my “nieces” and “nephews”. I could not be more proud of the way they have turned out. Then there is your hubby Chuck who has been like a brother to me, picking on me all of the time.
I am so glad you pin me down to lunch dates. We have the best times when we are together. I love how one word can set us off into hysterics.
You know you, Judy and Stacy have always been like my sisters. The older we get, the more we realize how important it is to spend quality time with those we love.
See you in all of your crazy glory on Wednesday!!!!
Love you!!
Lori, what a great reminder. I just got back from a vacation up north where I visited family and really got to soak in the time. While they live far away I’m able to keep up these special relationships through visits like these where I get a lot of time in. My family is also awesome at dropping everything going on when someone like me comes into town. It makes me feel so special – I’ve definitely been a beneficiary of people following your advice and it’s something I want to make sure I am giving back.
Thank you so much for sharing your life-revelations with us. It seems like we have to learn these things over and over again but I think that that’s just how life & our brains work – we need constant repetition and practice to make sure our priorities, feelings, actions, and words are in check and what they should be.
Love you, Lori.
Molly,
I can’t imagine anyone not dropping everything to spend time with you!
You are beautiful, smart, funny and a joy to be around!
Yes, we do have to learn these lessons over and over. I am still trying to improve on some of my personal appointments with friends.
I’m keeping one tomorrow for a fun lunch date and shopping though!!
Love you!
Ethel,
I am very fortunate that my kids love to be around their family. I hope that it lasts well into the years when they are having children of their own. Whenever I plan an event, the first thing out of their mouths is, whose coming? They really enjoy spending time with me, their Gram, and all the other adopted and extended family they share. We will have a majority of us at the Angel Game on Saturday, and they are very excited to see my family here at work too. It really is important to intentionally make time for each other. Thanks for the reminder!
oxoxLucy
Lucy,
I saw all of the beautiful photos of you and your family at the game!
You are so blessed to have such a large family and more importantly a family who wants to keep personal appointments with you!
Speaking of personal appointments, we never did have our lunch!!
We must set that appointment very soon!
xoxoEthel