“I Just Need a Little of Your Time”: 3 Ways to Give the Gift of You
Have you ever felt so strongly that God is trying to tell you something?
You know the feeling I’m talking about? I’m referring to those times when He puts it in your face until you get the recurring theme.
I had just such an experience this week. It took me three times to realize what he was saying very clearly. As you continue reading, see if my lesson becomes clear to you.
Clue #1 came when I attended a Memorial Service for the mother of a dear friend. I enjoyed hearing stories about their frequent phone calls to each other. I was a bit envious that she was able to see her mom multiple times each week and mine lives out of state.
My tears fell not only because I felt empathy for my friend, but I now realize I was also jealous of her joy. I have a wonderful mother, whom I love with all of my heart. I am fortunate to see her as often as I do considering she lives out of state. I realized I was jealous that my friend has no regrets and I wondered if I will be able to say the same.
Clue #2 was on the following day when I went over to visit my Grandma. Due to my hectic schedule I usually combine one of her doctor’s appointments with our visits. My heart sank as I entered her apartment and watched my ninety-eight year old grandmother hurry to put on her jacket and grab her purse. It didn’t even occur to her that I was just coming over to visit.
We spent nearly three hours together. I offered to take her out by the pool to get some sunshine. She said she just wanted to visit. We sat and talked about everything from her friend who has been in the hospital to her great grandmother who had nineteen children and visited them every summer.
I could tell she did not want me to leave. She continued to ask me questions as I headed toward the door. Again she broke my heart when she said, “This was the best visit we’ve ever had. I know you are busy, but I wish we could do it more often”. I held back my tears as I promised her that we would.
I went on to my appointment and stopped to grab dinner afterward at my favorite local spot, Casa Ranchero. As I sat at an outdoor table, I could overhear a conversation between an adult son and his mother. He told her he had to get on the road before the traffic got any worse. She kept telling him she didn’t want him to leave. Clue #3.
It was as I sat and finished my meal that I had my epiphany. The three scenarios swam around in my head. “I’ve got it! Spend morequalitytime with the people I love! I hear you loud and clear, Lord.”
My mind continues to wander back to my friend who had such a great relationship with her mom. What a marvelous feeling to have “no regrets”. It is not too late for me to change and make myself more available. I could have that same satisfaction of having almost “no regrets” when the time comes to eulogize my mother and grandmother.
I have come up with the following 3 ways to commit and give the gift of my time:
1. Make & keep personal appointments
2. Avoid being rushed or preoccupied when spending time with loved ones
3. Fill the time with love and kindness
Who do you need to make and keep personal appointments with?
How will you make positive changes in order to have almost “no regrets”?
Have you had similar wake-up calls like the one I had?
29 Comments
Lori
In today’s busy, hectic world – our time is the biggest gift we can give to others. Thank you for reminding me how important it is to spend time with loved ones and fill that time with love and kindness. We never know when those opportunities won’t be there any more. Life is so fragile and short!
I appreciate your thoughts and friendship.
Sharon
Sharon,
It’s true, when times are hectic it is easy to say “I’ll call that person next week”.
In our business we know time is of the essence. Don’t wait to make those calls or plans.
Thank you for your comments and friendship!
Lori
Lori,
What a wake up call. We are all busy in our own lives and don’t stop to smell the roses. I am making a promise to myself to keep my appointments, listen more and have no regrets.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Amt
Amy,
You have heard many stories of difficult times I have had with Granny!
I have decided no matter what she has to say I owe it to myself to at least show up. That will be key in helping me have almost “no regrets”.
Thank you for your comments!
Lori
Interesting
I know. I am full of interesting information.
You should listen to me more often.
I was hit with this very concept today. I went to the Memorial Park today to leave some flowers on my sister’s grave as today was her birthday. I don’t do that very often, but today just felt right. I still think of so many things that I wish I would of talked with her about. She was the oldest sister and she remembered so much more about our family than I do. I know that I let too many other things stand in the way of committed time with her. I have tried to do better with my family and friends and I have learned to “stay in the moment” when I’m with them. I tend to let my mind wander on to different things and don’t always hear what is being said.
I don’t want to miss the joy of being with family and friends and truly being a good listener.
Betty
Betty,
You are a wonderful, dedicated mother, grandmother, friend and the list goes on and on and on…..
I don’t want to miss the joy of spending more time with you.
I promise to start making and keeping more personal appointments with you.
Love you!!!!!
Lori,
Congrats on your awakening and your courage to acknowledge a shortcoming in your time planning. I think it’s great that you don’t waste energy on a “poor me, I’m doing the best I can” mentality and instead are putting your personal plan of action into place. From personal experience, I can tell you that yes, death is final. We all know that in our minds, but “YES, IT IS FINAL” takes more time for us to own in our hearts because we protect our hearts a lot more than we protect our minds. Our hearts can hurt and we don’t always have an adequate response to that hurt, For our minds, well, there’s always aspirin and if that doesn’t work, there’s denial and keeping busy as useful tools.
Today, a LIFE and the possibility of communication with that life in a variety of forms is possible.
Tomorrow, there is MEMORY and REMEMBRANCE, somewhat hollow, no matter what we try, but the more effort that we have put into LIFE, then all the more satisfaction we will own in our memories. We have the right to own this satisfaction, and not be burdened by guilt in witnessing this satisfaction in others while we sit on the sidelines, wishing for something that can no longer be possible.
You ask for personal examples, like in a previous blog about parental loss when a kid moves out, I too went into one of my boys rooms, still decked out with all his trappings of growing up, now like a museum of theirs and my parental investment of time and effort and emotion. Yes he would visit, but the kid was gone, “deal with it dad” I told myself. But lo and behold, I kept my spirits up and after time on their own, now they are calling every week or several times a week and my wife and I, after our adjustment, now are wondering “why are they calling so much?” My God, they even want to do things with us and are indignant when I can’t drop everything on a weekend day and haul my butt down to San Diego to go bodysurfing with them or take them out to put decent food in their stomachs or those of their adoring girlfriends. Do I have to be SO social? or available SO much? But I know exactly how I would feel if things weren’t this way.
So what do we do? We do what we can…and take the simple joy of this moment with others to keep in our hearts and enrich our minds and allow us to admit that indeed, life is worth living.
Now go take Grandma to a Karioke bar and send us your report in a follow-up blog.
Greg,
Why are you not writing for our blog!?!??!?!?
Your comments are always heartwarming and funny at the same time.
I do not even know what else to say because you have put it so eloquently above.
You have rendered me silent, which is nearly impossible.
I appreciate your dedication to our blog and thank you for consistently sharing your perspective.
We do not get the time during the day to visit very often. This gives me the opportunity to learn more about you and that is a good thing!
Thanks Again Greg!
I agree with Lori!!
Greg you should be writing!! I enjoy following the blog, just so I can get a smile and ray of sunshine from you…..
Kari