Filling the Newest Job at O’Connor: Family Care
– A Special Journey Mercies Entry –
Being a mother of 4 and a grandmother of 9, I have come to believe that I have a pretty good handle on caring for my family. Today my relationships with my children have become deeper and much more meaningful than they were while they were growing up. I also have the opportunity to mentor my grandchildren, and a few months ago, I moved my brother here from Oregon to manage his care. I have a lot of experience in caring : )
This year I celebrated 20 years with O’Connor and retirement from my full-time position. I loved being the Director of Community Relations and Resources but with retirement came a new opportunity to grow and give back and still work part-time for my beloved O’Connor in a brand new position. I am the very first Family Care Coordinator.
The goal of our Family Care Program is to provide care-touches to the families we serve when their services are over. I get to meet with our families face-to-face, hear their stories, connect them with grief and bereavement resources, and share some loving support and opportunities for healing. And, because we respect each family’s opinion, I also have the opportunity to ask for insights and thoughts about their ceremonies and our staff who provided support and care.
Each family that I meet has a story. One in particular touched me deeply. I had the honor of being with a woman about my age, and as I sat across from her, a newly grieving widow, I could see and feel her profound sense of sorrow. It came up out of the depth of her being and these words spilled forth, “I already miss him so much.” At that moment I felt a surge of compassion that I had not known before, and as I reached out and took her hand, these words flowed from my heart, “I know this is painful, and I am so sorry. Your journey of healing has just begun. Give yourself all the time you need to heal. I will be here for you and I am just a phone call away.” In that moment two women came together, and there was no need for any more words.
Her eyes softened as she thanked me, she took a deep breath and began to tell me about how her husband had died and about the passions he practiced in his life. A smile broke on her face and I felt privileged to listen. Her gratitude for the care and support she received was evident.
“The ceremony was perfect,” she said. “It was everything I had hoped for.”
Helping our families begin their journey of healing.
Being here as long as I have, I have had the joy and the honor to be placed in roles that have helped me grow as a woman, a mother, and a person who cares deeply for others. That would not have happened, I truly believe, in any other work environment.
Photo Courtesy of www.polyvore.com/show_me_your_smile
Neither of my roles were something that I picked for myself. I was “chosen” by the incredible men who lead us each day to be better than we ever imagined. This new role has given me the opportunity to come along side our families and support and love them “after it’s over.” I want them to feel that we will not leave them “at the grave.” I want them to know that we can support them through the ages. That we will continue to be there when they need us the most.
The other day I had lunch with my daughter Kari. She is an Administration Specialist here at O’Connor and she asked me if I enjoyed my new role. Without hesitation I simply said, “I love it.” She paused and then she said, “Mom, how often is it that we get the opportunity to “love” our jobs? You have had two with O’Connor and you love them both. That doesn’t happen.” She’s right.
I know that this kind of opportunity does not happen all the time. I have been gifted with the responsibility to provide care and comfort to folks who, for a moment in time, become my family.
Family Care . . . It’s what I do best right now.
What do you think of this new program?
Do you wish someone had helped your family in this way after a loss?
45 Comments
Pat,
Because you care, because you are a good listener, because you have the tools and the insight, each family who agrees to meet with you will be changed in some positive way because of that encounter. I have no doubt.
I am glad you are doing this and that you love it like you do…. a perfect match.
Love you,
Annie
Annie . . I do!
Like each new challenge we face, when we give ourselves permission to move forward, reach out, fail, and regroup, we become better and stronger than before. You are a certain testament to that. This is another opportunity to give back a small portion of care to those who travel this road call grief. We have learned much, you and I, and I am so blessed to call you my friend. And you know something else . . . ? You would be a wonderful Family Care coordinator!
I love you!
Pat
Thank you for sharing your devoted care for others and you are a mentor to me.
Tom . . thank you!
You, my friend, have evolved more than anyone here I know. Your strength, wisdom, kindness and caring is so evident. You have mastered the gift of purpose. You know who you are and you provide great care to our families. I am honored to walk with you here. Our families speak so highly of you. And i am grateful to you when I hear that! We’ll be here forever, right?
Love,
Pat
Hi Pat –
I love our continual care program! You are the prefect person to care for your families, your history of caring with compassion is profound and very significant. I am so thrilled that you are enjoying this new role. Thank you for all the love and support you give our families & teammates. I love you dearly! XO
Neil . . . thank you again for the opportunities you have given.
Once again, I am at peace with where I am on my lifelong journey. I feel like there is nothing I cannot do. Our Family Care program is unbelievably important and necessary. Our families our so thankful that we are offering them another opportunity to tell their story and thank our staff. It’s quite profound to sit in their midst and listen. Such a solemn time. I feel this overwhelming connection. Something I have never experienced before.
Thank you, my dear sweet friend. We have journeyed together for awhile now, and I am so grateful for your love and your friendship.
I love you more!
Patty O’
Pat, I’m so excited about your new role here. I think it is perfect for you! It is so important that families know we will not “leave them at the grave” though I’m sure they are anticipating just that. We can tell them we are always here for them ongoing, but it is showing them that is what makes all the difference. Thank you for all that you do! Sincerely, Carrie
Carrie:
You are a big part of what I do as part of “Family Care”. For it is your dedication, care and compassion to our families that make my transition with them so meaningful. I so look forward to hearing their thoughts about you, and how you made such a difference in helping them create a meaningful ceremony. I so love hearing the wonderful comments that are made on your behalf. So, thank you for helping our Family Care Program be so very successful. It’s your great passion and purpose that provides flawless services.
Thank you,
Pat
Well, I’d say you do “Mom” and “Grammy” pretty darn well, too! No doubt, your time with this family business has contributed to your personal evolution. You are perfectly poised to be in a position of caring and understanding. It would only do that you take your place holding the hands of those families who have been thrust into a world of new beginnings, for they can be scary and unsettling. You offer them care and support. It’s a perfect match! I simply love the idea of continuing to learn new ideas, positions, crafts, etc. throughout our lives. Very inspiring, Mom! I love you. Kris
Kristen,
Thank you so much for your sweet words. Our lives are ever changing and evolving. We can dig our heels in and say “no way – I’m not going to change.” Or we can move forever forward, growing and re-creating our lives for the better. In the end, we can contribute goodness, not only to those we are trying to reach, but to ourselves, as well. I so believe in that . . and being here at O’Connor, I can truthfully say . . . they have been a major part in my evolution. Greatness come from leadership. I have had great leadership!
I love you,
Mom