Filling the Newest Job at O’Connor: Family Care
– A Special Journey Mercies Entry –
Being a mother of 4 and a grandmother of 9, I have come to believe that I have a pretty good handle on caring for my family. Today my relationships with my children have become deeper and much more meaningful than they were while they were growing up. I also have the opportunity to mentor my grandchildren, and a few months ago, I moved my brother here from Oregon to manage his care. I have a lot of experience in caring : )
This year I celebrated 20 years with O’Connor and retirement from my full-time position. I loved being the Director of Community Relations and Resources but with retirement came a new opportunity to grow and give back and still work part-time for my beloved O’Connor in a brand new position. I am the very first Family Care Coordinator.
The goal of our Family Care Program is to provide care-touches to the families we serve when their services are over. I get to meet with our families face-to-face, hear their stories, connect them with grief and bereavement resources, and share some loving support and opportunities for healing. And, because we respect each family’s opinion, I also have the opportunity to ask for insights and thoughts about their ceremonies and our staff who provided support and care.
Each family that I meet has a story. One in particular touched me deeply. I had the honor of being with a woman about my age, and as I sat across from her, a newly grieving widow, I could see and feel her profound sense of sorrow. It came up out of the depth of her being and these words spilled forth, “I already miss him so much.” At that moment I felt a surge of compassion that I had not known before, and as I reached out and took her hand, these words flowed from my heart, “I know this is painful, and I am so sorry. Your journey of healing has just begun. Give yourself all the time you need to heal. I will be here for you and I am just a phone call away.” In that moment two women came together, and there was no need for any more words.
Her eyes softened as she thanked me, she took a deep breath and began to tell me about how her husband had died and about the passions he practiced in his life. A smile broke on her face and I felt privileged to listen. Her gratitude for the care and support she received was evident.
“The ceremony was perfect,” she said. “It was everything I had hoped for.”
Helping our families begin their journey of healing.
Being here as long as I have, I have had the joy and the honor to be placed in roles that have helped me grow as a woman, a mother, and a person who cares deeply for others. That would not have happened, I truly believe, in any other work environment.
Photo Courtesy of www.polyvore.com/show_me_your_smile
Neither of my roles were something that I picked for myself. I was “chosen” by the incredible men who lead us each day to be better than we ever imagined. This new role has given me the opportunity to come along side our families and support and love them “after it’s over.” I want them to feel that we will not leave them “at the grave.” I want them to know that we can support them through the ages. That we will continue to be there when they need us the most.
The other day I had lunch with my daughter Kari. She is an Administration Specialist here at O’Connor and she asked me if I enjoyed my new role. Without hesitation I simply said, “I love it.” She paused and then she said, “Mom, how often is it that we get the opportunity to “love” our jobs? You have had two with O’Connor and you love them both. That doesn’t happen.” She’s right.
I know that this kind of opportunity does not happen all the time. I have been gifted with the responsibility to provide care and comfort to folks who, for a moment in time, become my family.
Family Care . . . It’s what I do best right now.
What do you think of this new program?
Do you wish someone had helped your family in this way after a loss?
45 Comments
What a nice story to hear from you, Pat! I have seen first hand the special relationship you create with the families you meet and it is amazing to see that. I absolutely love that this new role was created and that you are the lead. You are perfect for it! Your kindness and compassion are what our families look for after the “dust has settled”. Thank you for everything!!
Thank you so much, Joanna.
Isn’t it wonderful to know that we have these great opportunities afforded us here. We are nurtured, taught, and asked to be “great” each and every day. You, my friend, shine in that department. Thank you for the leadership you show each and everyday, managing our Care Center and assisting the General Manager. You have proven that when given and opportunity to success, you go for it!
Pat
Perfectly said! I love that this position was created and that you took the challenge of starting it from the ground up. You are perfect for it! You are such a caring, kind, and loving person and it shines thru to our families. I have seen first hand how you love your job! You make such strong connections and you definitely show the families we will not “leave them at the grave” we are always here for them. Thank you for extra special care touches you make with the families!!!
<3 Shayna
Shayna:
Thank you for your kind words. I do LOVE what I do. It’s been a wonderful journey of struggle, perseverance, failure, growth, constant learning, and success. I am grateful for the opportunities I have been given, and for the trust that our leaders have placed in me. It continues to be a wonderful adventure, with more learning and more growth. I’m so glad that I’m still here. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing, or any place I’d rather be doing it for!
Love
MP
Pat,
How fortunate you are indeed to find 2 fulfilling career positions back to back.
I like your new position, and I like the fact that you were the person chosen specifically to spearhead it at the time of its launch. The many talents that you possess will be of great use and comfort for the families whom we serve.
The Family Care Coordinator position demonstrates once again, as so many of the families whom OCM has served have found, that we are committed to a continuum of care from the moment we get a call that someone has passed or is requesting to do their prearrangement plan. It continues through their service. As you stated, we do not leave anyone “at the grave”. There is life”beyond the grave”. Sometimes, however, individuals need a guide to gently direct them towards what lies ahead.
I know that you enjoy and experience profound fulfillment in helping them reach towards their own personal futures of dealing with grief and embracing the healing process. I know that you are with them in realizing that yes, there is a future, and, yes, one day once more the sun will shine.
May it shine on you, with you and through you as you continue on your own personal journey of being there for others, be they a stranger, or a new-found friend.
Greg
Greg . .
Thank you! You absolutely know how important it is for us to continue the “care touches” to those who have entrusted us to care for their loved ones. There is life after death . . and our purpose is to connect, help, comfort, care, and provide resources for those families. I have been given the awesome responsibility to add one more “touch” and offer an opportunity for our families to express their feelings, thoughts, and concerns about how we cared for them. I have been blessed each time, just having that moment with them. You are such a great man and I so appreciate you taking the time to offer your well express thoughts.
Together, we can do great things!
Pat
Hello Shasta – you are so right.
Our families need to know that our care, from the initial call to the final disposition, is ongoing. And, “family” has always been in my vocabulary. Not only my own family . . but I have always thought of O’Connor as my family as well. I know you feel that too. You certainly have show how much you care for them.
Thank You!
Pat
beautiful, just beautiful! your compassion for others is shining already through this blog entry. your life experiences have equipped you for this very job, because for you, it’s not a job: it’s who you are!
with love and deep respect of what God is doing in others’ lives through you,
Nicole
Nicole . . thank you!
It’s interesting that as we grow in knowledge and years, how are perspectives change. I am so comfortable meeting with grieving families now, as opposed to 10 years ago. This moment in time has equipped me with a gentle attitude, a listening ear, and words that can hopefully bring comfort and begin the healing process for others. It is amazing how God creates in us an attitude of gratitude and consciousness for others.
Lovingly,
Pat