3 Things We Say at the Mortuary
3 Things We Say at the Mortuary
Photo Courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/BrianAJackson
Usually when people think of the funeral profession they think about the sadness associated with our position and have trouble going (or don’t want to go) beyond that. But beyond the grief that surrounds my job, I’ve found that death brings clarity to our perspective and at O’Connor, this perspective is ingrained in how we treat each other and the families that walk through our doors.
I’m just about to wrap up my first year at O’Connor and I thought I’d share with you some of the unique mantras we say to each other here at work.
“Be Flexible”
With all service-oriented professions, curve balls are thrown at all hours of the day. There are many people involved and with all the preparation that goes into planning a funeral service, there are still events that take place that you can’t plan for. By having an attitude that can “be flexible,” it allows us to improvise as the family needs us to and helps us to not get hung up if something unexpected happens or if something does not go as exactly planned.
When Dr. Bill Hoy came to our mortuary this past September for a staff training, one of the topics he discussed was giving yourself margin. This means building into your daily schedule a time-buffer between events. This way if things don’t turn out “as scheduled” – and you can usually rely on that happening – instead of being stressed, your margin gives you the time-flex needed and helps you maintain a calm mind as you move into the next event.
“Slow is Fast”
There can be some anxiety when you feel you have to get something done perfectly. When I first started directing funeral services, and it still happens on occasion, I would walk really fast to get something done or I would have a look of panic on my face because I was paranoid that I was forgetting something. Rushing to do something only allowed people to sense that I was stressed and anxious.
It took some time and experience to find the balance between getting it done quickly and doing the job right. My action plan now is to get the details taken care of, set-up for success, let the day take its course, and breathe!
“Relationships First, Task Second”
Photo Courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/alexh
Sometimes I find that in needing to complete a task I focus too much on the logistics and execution of the project instead of the people I am trying to help.
It’s unfortunate that our profession has a reputation of too much business talk and not enough personal touch. With the aim of changing that stereotype, “Relationship first, task second,” is truly the top priority here at O’Connor and a huge part of why I love working here. To have chiefs and staff that believes in and practices this attitude helps us to practice it genuinely as we serve families. And really, the task is going to get completed. Task schmask. It’s people that matter.
If a year at a mortuary doesn’t give you a new perspective on life, nothing will. I want to encourage you to practice these lessons in your own daily life. Live in a way you won’t regret & don’t lose sight of the value of a relationship.
Death: It’s not business, it’s personal.
What do you THINK . . .
If you applied just one of these mantras to your professional/personal life, how would it be different?
What is your “work mantra”?
25 Comments
Hi Lauren,
What a perfect blog to kick off a new year. You and I started our employment here within a couple weeks of each other. I, too, reflect back on this last year and am amazed at how our “work culture” has made such a dramatic impact on my non-work life as well. Our “Relationship First…Task Second” mantra is the one I feel is so crucial to our health as a company.
My personal work mantra focuses on the “Servant Leadership” philosophy of sharing power, putting the needs of others first and helping people develop and perform as highly as possible.
Thanks for a great blog!
Becky
There’s been so much we’ve learned and experienced this past year!
What a great mantra! Thank you for sharing that!
Hi Lauren –
I love your blog! You have been a quick student to learn the deeper meaning of our profession. I love the fact that you can internalize these mantras!! You do have a fast pace foot or feet, pretty funny to acknowledge it. Once you realize that you feet are moving to fast then you probably are breathing to fast, oh no here comes a misstep or accident. Getting your head around what we are really doing is key, slow is fast, being flexible, having genuine care and concern for those around you, client and co-worker. You have an old soul, I love seeing you care for our families and community. I am proud to be in your life, I see the joy you have in serving others. Namaste!!! XO!!
Thanks so much Neil!!
I’m so grateful to have such awesome teachers and people I look up to not just when it comes to work but on a personal level as well. Namaste xoxo!
Cool blog Lauren!
Ive found it sooo easy to start applying these 3 things in my daily life outside of work, being as that we strive so hard everyday to perfect each of them. Its nice to read something with a nice positive light shining on our profession, and that great service starts with great people with great morals! I’m personally working harder on what would be my number 4 thing to say which is “No detail is too small.” and I’m happy to say that I’m learning that from you! keep up the great work!
Michael
Thanks Michael!
It’s so great to be learning together and from each other! You bring so much care and attention to families.
Sorry again about the bathroom.
Lauren, Thank you for putting words to purpose. In regard to being flexible and willing to adapt to each individual situation that we face, I’ve always said “Dream in pencil.” But ultimately we serve people and we should never lose sight of our calling.
Thanks Chris and thank you for always reminding us of these words of wisdom during the morning meetings!
Lauren . . . Well done, Grasshopper! I can’t tell you how proud I am to know you, to have you here, and to see all that you have accomplished in this past year. You are truly the “Next Gen” O’Connor professional. It is amazing to me . . and really, it shouldn’t be . . . that we have such accomplished, unique, and dedicated young women in our midst. Thank you for sharing your vision and how you have embraced the O’Connor Culture. The things we have learned here are truly life lessons and need to be shared. And in your words, it really is people that matter!
Pat