Obituary

Bryan Christopher Frydenberg Bower
June 28, 1982 – May 2, 2011

Bryan was born in Oslo, Norway, on a half moon night to the delight of his parents, Jerry and Jia. At a mere 4 weeks of age he took his first bath in the ocean surrounding our summer house in southern Norway, safe in dad’s arms.

Bryan grew up with his family in Irvine, California, with frequent trips to see his dad’s family and friends in Michigan. He excelled in school and was on the Woodbridge High School wrestling team. However, when he met rock climbers at the Master’s College in Santa Clarita, he found his true passion. He could both lead and follow multiple-pitch climbs, always safe and never reckless, patient and encouraging to new climbers. Bryan could be trusted 100% and trained to scale the 3, 000 foot vertical face of El Capitan in Yosemite, a place he loved. His friends miss him enormously.

At some point, probably on his beloved island in Norway, Bryan was bitten by an infected tick and contracted Lyme disease. It was not diagnosed until several years later, by which time the illness had become chronic. The devastating disease invaded his nervous system and kept him in debilitating pain. But he wouldn’t give up: he agreed to one invasive treatment after another, but the pain only grew. Bryan, whose name means warrior, fought like the lion he was. His last years confined him to his bed nearly all the time, in agony.

Bryan was an artist, a philosopher, and a poet. For love of his parents and all he knew he could give the world, he did battle against the overwhelming enemy for years after an ordinary man would have given up.

There is now a Bryan-shaped hole in the universe, that not even time can fill. We, the survivors, comfort each other by the knowledge that for the first time in nearly a decade, Bryan is not in pain. He is strong and whole and his spirit will live on in us, forever.

Interment of his ashes will take place under the oaks at the El Toro Memorial Park, 25751 Trabuco Road, Lake Forest, CA 92630, Thursday, May 26, at 11am.

Jia Frydenberg
Rolf Frydenberg
Grete Frydenberg
Reidar Frydenberg
Jerry Bower
Laurie Powell
Carol Bower
Harry Bower

————
deep purple souls

the light flickers and the heart beats
man suffers and fights
and god watches ambivalently

white nights in the sands of summer
cold storms on my bricks
call me by my true name in eden
call me lover

i have seen the face of wonder
felt all the glory and despair
taken it in, breathed deep
fallen on my sword and prayed
to an empty sky

to a sky unknown, to a god unknown
all the glory surrounds me
the love and beauty, and also the torturous pain
if i am for wonder in the desert
than so will i be in the valley
or my mountains
broken, wet, and hallowed

Bryan Bower
Mexico
January 2010

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79 responses to Bryan Christopher Frydenberg Bower

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greg says:

December 31, 2014

I am dying from Lyme. The Boston globe wrote an article about my life many years ago. My heart will just not stop beating. I so wish that it would. I am now dying in the jungles of costa rica. I bought land here years ago and on top of the Lyme and loss of all my friends and family, now the government here is stealing my land. I saved 8 starving and street dogs here and now they must die too. Reading Bryans story of adventure and spirit makes me smile. Just wish I could help these pups to go on. Noone wants them, just like noone wants me. Never thought the darkness would win. Looking foreward to being with Bryan soon. Hope we can climb a mountain together in heaven.

Greg…email neshanu@yahoo.com For a few more days. Peace and Love to all!

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Sara Cullum says:

December 20, 2015

Lit a candle in memory of Bryan Christopher Frydenberg Bower

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Melissa Salisbury says:

April 25, 2016

I knew Bryan in High School, he was a Senior when I was a Junior. We had a Spanish class together and I thought he was the nicest person and wished we were closer friends. We met again in college at Irvine Valley College, I think we took College Algebra together and of course he was much better at it than me. When I found him on Facebook in December 2010, I found out he was sick and I sent him a message, his response was “no, I won’t be getting all better; there’s no cure for my disease; I experience severe pain constantly as well as cognitive impairment and chronic fatigue”. He said that he was married and now she won’t speak to me because ” I’m disabled and mostly bedridden, I don’t really meet new people, other than my parents who keep me going, and a few fellow sufferers who have the same illness. It’s nice of you to remember me.” February 1, 2011 @ 4:18am. I worried whether I should share his thoughts, but this shows how horrible this disease is. I wish I could have said or could have done something to make him feel better, or less hopeless. I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful son. Here it is 2016 and people you have never met are still thinking about him, his memory will live on. I know that he is no longer in pain.

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Nat Comstock says:

July 8, 2016

I don’t know if you still hung on, but after reading Brian’s story and yours, I wish I knew about Brian. I have been suffering from chronic Lyme sine 2003, abd although I have lost the active life I had, I have a husband, 2 children and a Mom who supports me. The wrenth on pain of not being believed, I’d being forgotten abd uncategorized for by my siblings is ever painful, but I am beyond d grateful for what I do have. I g Ave befriended many people on the internet with Lyme Dusease, and since I have horrible chronic nerve pain, perhaos I could have given Brian some hope.

I am so sorry for the pain that continues on with his parents, abd I hope they know he held on as long as be could. Fortunately he is out of pain, but that does not ease the pain of those left behind.

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adriene wall says:

July 12, 2016

First … My heart is hurting for Brian’s family , his friends and all that knew him. That hurt is the reason I have not taken my own life. I sit hear with tears .. Thinking I wish I had the courage he had. I’ve been battling with Lyme for 4 years. The pain is beyond describable .. The isolation and the lose of all you once were is a constant thought. My story is stories of many. Many who suffer from this disease. It’s not just suffering .. It’s diabolic. That we that suffer have to endure this everyday of our lives. What more do we have to do to get people to notice that the CDC is so twisted and we need care that is paid for by our insurances. Not everyone is a ” movie star ” n can afford the tens of thousands on medicines .. Acupuncture .. Massages .. Or even a whole support system. So .. What is our alternative. ? To try and find the strength to go on each n every moment for your children .. Your grandchildren.. Your loved ones .. However , this kind of strength is not endless nor is it easy at hand. Brian’s story is one of many I have read … I pray for him up in heaven .. I pray for those that live with losing him .. N I also pray my story will not end by taking my life. It’s no life .. It’s a 24 hour of fighting the pain .. The brain fog .. The sweats n chills .. The fatigue .. The joint n muscle pain. Some might say .. It can’t be that bad that Brian had to take his life. I’m telling you .. It was..n I wish I had the courage to do the same. RIP Brian

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