It is an October in my Soul: A Tragical Fall Tale
Is Fall your favorite time of year? I’m guessing if you chose to read this blog then yes, you treasure and savor the change in light and the color of the trees & look as giddily forward to October 1st as I do.
For the last 8 years fall brought me charming semesters with my fellow English majors. Fall meant long evenings sipping lattes on the third floor of the library pouring over books on Shakespeare, Milton & Marlowe. Fall meant paradise for me. If you know an English major you won’t be surprised to learn that they are some of the most sentimental people you will ever meet. There is something in our natures & love for books that inevitably brings about a hopeless sense of romance when we think about fall semesters & rainy campuses.
This is my first fall without school. I finished my master’s degree last autumn, it was crazy, wonderful, the most stressful thing I’ve ever done and I miss it desperately. I feel as though a piece of myself is missing, that a beautiful part of my life is over.
I made myself cry just writing that – a true sign of sentimentality & english major funk? I think so.
Even though school has not ushered me into fall the way it has for almost the last decade, I have still felt the simple joys of buying my first (6) pumpkins, sipping my first spiced latte & seeing the charming decorations at Disneyland at twilight.
I’m realizing there are lots of things I dearly love about Fall & that I don’t need a library, tons of homework, or puddly-campus to savor it.
Here are just a few of my favorite fall treats:
Fall is my favorite season for many reasons so here is a list of all my favorite little Fall things!
– Pumpkin Spice Lattes – I squealed in delight with my first sip.
– Come to think of it, there is pumpkin-flavored everything this time of year. that’s great.
– Disneyland’s Halloween transformation. The streets are stacked with pumpkins & the glowing windows are filled with spooky displays. The Haunted Mansion gets a makeover and you can smell the gingerbread house in the grand ballroom that is specially redesigned every year for the ride. Big Thunder Ranch is perfect with the pumpkin-carvers and the festive little cottage. It’s Disney at it’s best.
– Trader Joe’s pumpkins! They’re cheap & beautiful – a perfect combo.
– The time of year when you watch “You’ve Got Mail” – one of my absolute FAVORITE movies. If you don’t know what “bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils” are then get on Netflix NOW. You have missed out for far too long.
– This painting.
Peter Ellenshaw, “Winnie the Pooh Autumn Leaves”
– I light candles in the newly darker evenings & that always makes me feel cozy & at home
– I also like to re-read some of the Harry Potter books this time of year, Harry & Halloween just go together & those books never get old.
– Most of all, I love fall because it means the craziness of summer is over, the frantic traveling between here & there is over and I can finally just be home. it’s simple but it is one of my chief joys.
To quote John Milton (author of Paradise Lost & a serious genius)
“The mind can make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven” (Book 1, l. 253-55)
Maybe my heaven of school would have been your personal hell, or perhaps fall is your least favorite season because glorious summer is over. The point is that change comes to everything, endings come and traditions disappear. But our minds can see good even in semester-less falls, new heavens can be lurking where we never could have imagined them before.
(an actual photo from last semester in the library with my semester-long companions)
Is this fall different for you in some way?
What are some of your favorite fall treats?
39 Comments
The first fire in the wood stove – that’s my favorite fall moment. Experienced last week. Then, there’s the first rain of the season – I love the smell of the surrounding forest when the ground becomes damp.
I share your “angst” at no longer being a part of the academic scene! I was awarded my M.A. in anthropology in 1983…that’s one heck of a long time to be “missing the classroom”, eh? It’s never faded, either. I’m looking forward to the workshops at the NFDA convention next week, because attending…sitting in the front row, notebook open and pens at the ready…brings back sweet memories!
Another nice post, Molly. Excellently evocative writing.
Kim,
What a beautiful moment, “the first log on the fire” – wow, that sets an instant mood in my head. Beautiful. I love the rain, too. There’s something lovely about being driven inside by a cool rain & needing that fire in the hearth to warm up your toes.
It’s also always a delight to me to learn about someone’s academic history especially when, like you, they are passionate about it & nostalgic for it. I’m comforted to hear that your memories & love of those days haven’t faded, I sometimes worry that mine will. But with each sip of my first pumpkin spice latte it was as if I was transported suddenly to campus with boots on my feet, a scarf on my neck, books cradled in my arms & the most contented smile on my face.
Thank you for reminiscing with me, for charming me with your moments & for sharing some more of the wonderful person you are!
Molly- like you, I missed school once I graduated. It just felt like something was missing. But as the years have passed, I have truly seen just how much I benefitted from all the hard work & studying. That made it easier. I love Fall, mostly because it begins to cool down (the heat this year has seemed to linger on forever!) but also because there’s just a different “feel” in the air. Crisp, cool & foggy mornings are a great enjoyment for me. Thank you for sharing your sentimentality! Carrie
Carrie, I definitely feel that I’m beginning to see the benefits of my degree – this blogging project being the foremost one. Knowing that I’m incorporating my degree into my work brings me so much peace & happiness, it’s all still with me even if I’m not on campus.
I love the “feel” you’re talking about. I know it’s been super hot this week but just with the change in light I’ve been able to imagine it’s cold & have had no problem enjoying the indoors.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Molly,
I so appreciate your openness and willingness to share a little bit about yourself. The turning pages turn into finished chapters in our lives. We leave a little piece of us every time we complete a chapter, but that just means there is more space to fill with new and exciting things with our next chapter.
I love summer, but September is probably one of my favorite months of the year. It encompasses both seasons within it and that transition is marvelous to behold. I do like the first fire in the fire place and that first rain, but the most anticipated change is the fall Santa Anas that can blow through the canyons in early fall. Feeling that special wind on my face will never get old.
Chuck
Chuck – I love your idea, that I am turning pages in my life and that that chapter is now written and done. It’s hard to feel like there’s more ahead without paper deadlines & exams looming but I suppose one can still be successful & productive outside of school ; )
I love the Santa Ana’s too although I somehow always forget about them. Thank you for reading & sharing Chuck!
Molly, your post reminded me that this is my first fall without school, as well. I was already feeling a little nostalgic and in a funk without school, and perhaps that is why! I relate to your sentiments about both school (although different subjects) and fall. Our souls share the same love for this beautiful season.
Love you,
erin
Erin, you dear friend!
I love your soul & how similar our loves are. Thank you so much for reading this & taking the time to sweeten my day with your words! I can’t wait to see you this weekend and enjoy more of this season side-by-side!
love you!
Molly- I literally cried reading this post. I am so sad at not being back in school that this fall is incredibly hard for me, as well. I am partially comforted in knowing that you are feeling the same way and that I am not crazy.
I miss you.
Danae,
I’m so glad this connected with you & that you could relate to my sentiments. Thank you so much for reading & connecting with my story.