An Interview with a Cancer Patient: Kori and Breast Cancer

I’ve known Kori for a LONG time. Her story is one that can only be described as miraculous on steroids. For a long time Kori’s story was drug addiction, alcoholism, theft, and prison. Change began happening in her and soon treatment and recovery were added to her story. At last, this year saw opening up before her a life of integrity and freedom that she began living with a tenacity and grace that amazed me.

Then, 134 days ago, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

I sat down with her the day after her last chemo treatment to see how her life, her mind and her heart have been changed for the better and worse by cancer. Here’s what she had to say.

How do you think your perspective has changed since cancer?

 

It has changes quite a bit. Drug and alcohol treatment changed my perspective – but not enough. I still thought trivial things were important after that but now, there are things that are just NOT important. Being the fastest person on the road, not important. Getting there safely, important. Disagreeing with people over silly things, not important. Making memories, living in the movement – important. The bottom line, not important. Taking care of each other, important. Finishing together, that’s what’s important.

The entire disease has been a blessing, it has opened my eyes to so many things. It has brought me so much joy in the face of something so horrible. To endure the chemo and actually feel like “this must be what dying feels like” and then be surprised daily with gifts or encouragement and life from friends and SO many strangers has just completely overwhelmed me.

I am determined to live a life of trying to giving back in accordance with all that I have received.

What would you say about your own cancer journey?

Life doesn’t stop when you find out you have cancer. Food, medicine, gas, bills don’t stop just because you get sick.

I had to leave my job that I loved to move in with my mom who lived far away from my friends and community.

It wasn’t real until the port was put in and it was devastating. I have this foreign object inside of me and this scar on my chest. I thought I’d been through enough … I’d just turned 40 and I was really excited, hoping to find and meet someone. I had a job I loved, a family that I could finally see, children that I have a great relationship with … and then it all changed. I was mad. I couldn’t work out, I had to take chemo, I lost my hair, and I didn’t want to be sick. The sick really took me by surprise. I tried to do normal things and then just felt terrible. I realized I couldn’t “be normal,” I couldn’t do things I wanted to do.

Giving up my life, my hiking, my beach, my summer – the season I live for because I can be in my most favorite place just sucked. I feel like I lost a lot.

Are there questions you wish people would ask that don’t get asked?

I like people to talk to me instead of stare at me.

I like the question, “Is your bald head a fashion statement or are you going through something?”

I most appreciate when people acknowledge my fight. I have strangers hug me and tell me, “I had a double mastectomy and I’m fiver years clean.” Those get me and change the feeling of my day in a positive way dramatically.

For those facing Breast Cancer … what would you tell them?

  • Smile.
  • Read encouraging stuff like this everyday:
  • It’s all in your attitude. Don’t let the thought of cancer beat you, you can’t. It’s mind over matter – the power of positive thoughts AND actions. Find something that brings happy to you everyday; for me it was my future, going back to school, the thought of writing my book, and sharing my story.
  • I have too much that I want to do and I’m determined to accomplish it. I love my life, I’ve re-built this life, I went through too much to be here and cancer is not going to stop me.
  • Be willing to let your purpose evolve and change, everything is always changing.
  •  I have so much strength in me now that I feel like I can be a strength for somebody else.

… Amazing right?

Following Kori’s cancer journey on Facebook has been so wonderful and heartbreaking to see. My favorite comment of hers on cancer simply stated this:

“I am the happiest person with cancer. It’s leaving my body and I’m thankful for that. But everything that has happened to me when I got cancer has been a blessing to me.”

 

If you would like to help Kori out by making a donation to help her keep up with the bills that don’t stop just because cancer starts, please click here.

 

|| what do you think?

– Do you have a cancer story, your own or a loved one’s?

– What did you learn from it?

– How has it changed your life?

Molly Keating
Molly Keating
Hello! I'm Molly and I run & manage the Blog here at O'Connor. I grew up in a mortuary with a mortician for a father who's deep respect for the profession inspired me to give working at a mortuary a try. Work at O'Connor has brought together two of my deep passions, writing & grief awareness. In 2016 I earned Certification in the field of Thanatology, the study of Death, Dying and Bereavement. I am honored to be able to speak on these taboo topics with knowledge, compassion, and a unique perspective. I want to sincerely thank you for following & reading the blog, I hope that this is a healing place for you.

18 Comments

  1. Rosemary says:

    Thank you, Molly & Kori, for sharing Kori’s amazing journey. Kori, you are an such an inspiration – I am absolutely awestruck every time I hear about the things that you have experienced and the incredible strength with which you handle it all! You are truly amazing! God bless and keep you always, Kori!

  2. Lori says:

    Molly,
    Kori’s light shines through any photo I have ever seen of her. She is such a positive presence, even in the midst of such hard times. Even pictures that I have seen after chemo or surgery when she is at her weakest, that sparkle is still there. This is a girl who has defied so many odds over her lifetime. This has been a huge speed bump, but from what I know of Kori, she will emerge with even a greater passion for life. She is an amazing young lady and role model. Love her and so glad she is doing so well!

    Lori

  3. Mitch says:

    What an amazing story. I am not big on coincidence, there is a reason for everything. We just don’t see it right away. Going through something like this definitely shows where your priorities are and sometimes they need to change. It can actually enhance our lives. This makes my problems seem pretty small. Thank you for sharing and keep us posted. God bless you Kori.

  4. Joe Lavoie says:

    I appreciate the sharing of Kori’s story it has been of great help to me as I am going through my father’s journey with prostrate cancer that is now in his bones. I learn from him everyday some good and bad days but we are together and I am blessed that I still have the opportunity to speak with dad on a daily basis. We are leading into the end days for dad in his 91 year life and I have learned a lot and this experience will forever change my life , although these days are a very difficult time for us all in my family at least for each day I have with dad I am very blessed and grow from each cherished moment. Again thanks for this very meaningful blog.

    Sincerely
    Joe Lavoie

  5. Neil says:

    Hi Molly –
    I am truly amazed by the human spirt. I continue to relearn the important lessons in life, faith, family, friends, health and love. We are only here for a very short time and we cannot control every aspect of life. Kori’s attitude has made me rethink a lot about my life and my choices. I am impressed with Kori’s will to not let cancer kill her attitude or her soul. I appreciate Kori being so willing to share her life with us. My prayers are with you daily! XOXO

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