Learning from my Four Fathers
Four Fathers
I get a haunting pit in my stomach now when Father’s Day approaches. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holiday, but working at a mortuary puts a twist on how you see special days like these. Every phone call has the potential to be a child/spouse letting us know that their father/husband has passed on. Or worse yet, a father is calling to inquire about how he should go about honoring his lost child. It’s a day I would rather not work but it does remind me how blessed I am to still have my dad around.
Today I want to honor the four father figures in my life by acknowledging a singular trait that I most admire in each of them.
Perhaps you will feel inspired to consider the lessons your father figures have taught you.
Sacrifice: A father makes sacrifices for their family. My own father is a perfect example. I cant tell you how many miles he has driven, or how many hours of overtime he has worked, to make sure us kids were always comfortable. The amazing thing about my dad is that he did all of this while still being active in our lives. There have been times where my dad has gone more than 24 hours without sleep, yet I still knew if I turned and looked behind the backstop at my little league game, I would see him watching and I could hear his voice cheering me on. I was ignorant of the sacrifice growing up, but now that I’m older and have begun making sacrifices for my loved ones, my appreciation has grown ten-fold for my “old man”.
A father makes sacrifices for their family.
Wisdom: A father will always share his wisdom. My stepfather is the wisest man I have ever met. The lessons he has learned in life have always been shared with me so that I could learn from them, and perhaps avoid making the same mistake. When I get into situation where I have a hard time making a decision, his voice and reason echo in my head, and help me to the right path. This is a gift I cannot give back, but I can surely pass it on, and for that I am most grateful.
A father will always share his wisdom.
Patience: A father is patient. This one is the most difficult. My uncle, Terry, is a very, VERY, patient man. He has this amazing ability to actually sit and think hard on what he is going to say or decide before he actually does it. The result? A soft tone when he disciplines his children, and an undeniable trust from his superiors. His children know that their father is not quick to judge them of harshly discipline them, and his bosses know they can trust him to take his time and make the right decision in any situation. I have yet to meet someone with the quiet strength of my uncle.
A father is patient.
Humor: A father is never too serious. My uncle Roy is the funniest person in my family. He is serious when need be, but he believes that this world is a funny place and it should be laughed at. It’s amazing to watch his children’s eyes light up as he re-tells a story, or watch his wife burst into laughter as he whispers something in her ear. All of this, for the sake of a punch line. My uncle Roy is a very successful man, and I think much of that success is from his decision to never take life, or himself, too seriously.
A father is never too serious.
I am truly lucky to say I have these prolific men in my life. There is always someone there to make time for me, someone to give me wisdom, someone to be patient with my mistakes, and someone always willing to make me smile.
Dad, Kev, Terry and Roy, I love you. Happy Father’s Day.
|| what do you think?
Who are you celebrating this Father’s Day?
What lessons have your father-figures taught you?
44 Comments
Hi Michael –
My Dad has taught me so many lessons over my life. I think the one of the lessons I admire him most of is his faith. I know he prayers to make good decisions in his life. I have seen him make good decisions his entire life. The other quality I see in my Dad is his compassion for people. My Dad has always given to charities and helped the needy. Last month we went to lunch and a lady who barely spoke english asked him for a ride home, and he said sure, without thinking about it. I will be celebrating fathers day at the beach with our family. Thank you for sharing the men in your life and what they have taught you.
Happy Fathers Day to you and your Father(s)!!!
Big Joe is definitely the perfect role model to grow up with. Since Ive been working here, I have started to see the similarities between you two and its pretty cool to see such powerful morals passed down between father and son. Happy Fathers Day Neil!
Michael,
What a wonderful way of weaving together the significance of fatherhood by paying tribute to these four men who have obviously had uniquely profound influences in you life. My own father was so dedicated to family experiencing life together and he was intentional insuring that we did just that. He was an adventurer, a lover of people and an educator.
Joe O’Connor has been a profound father figure to me in ways that are unique from those of my own father. Joe’s ability get the best from me and to do so with kindness and compassion when I didn’t measure up has touched me deeply.
There are many others I can point to as well who have left their own specific imprint upon my life and I am grateful for those sacred moments and appointments that they kept with me.
Thank you for writing this most poignant tribute to your father’s.
Jeff
Based on the stories and things Molly tells me, you haven’t been to bad of a dad yourself
Thanks Jeff. and I’m glad you have had such strong positive influence from male role models in your life, just as I have. Happy Fathers day!
Michael,
Sincerely I advise you to cherish these relationships. They will strengthen you character, habits and will shape the way you parent your own children in the future. I do not celebrate my father because he is neither willing, nor available to be a positive piece of my and my daughter’s lives. Fortunately, I am celebrated very well by my daughters. Their love and pride in me as their father is in direct proportion to my love and commitment to them throughout the years.
Thank you Chris. I can tell how good of a dad you are just by the way you spread your advice and love around the office. I hope your fathers day was wonderful, and that the passion your daughters have for making you feel special exceeds the boundaries of one day and continues throughout the year!
Nice blog, Michael. You are lucky to have so many father figures with great lessons to offer! My stepdad Randy has taught a lot about patience and sacrifice, as well as humor…He has taken on the role of keeping everything going in the family, becoming somewhat the foundation of our household. I have watched him grow into that role throughout my life, since I was about 8 years old but most recently after my grandma died who was definitely in the position before…and the patience he exhibited throughout the whole struggle with Casey’s addiction was really amazing. The humor is one of the most important things he has taught me, always one to listen and keep me sane throughout the chaos of our family at times. Thanks for the great blog as always!
I’m so happy for you Shasteroo. The bond you share will not be the same as say a birth father/daughter thing, but it has the potential to be even better because of the mutual respect that has to grow between you. My stepdad Kev and I came to the conclusion that we are better friends than father and son, and that mutual understanding has grown into a wonderful relationship. I’ve met your stepdad and he was awesome. What a gift
Hi Michael,
Thanks for sharing about the role models in your life. Father’s have such an immense impact on their children’s growth and development. Whenever I find myself at a response or decision crossroad with my children, I often ask myself what my father would do. Usually, therein lies my answer. I can only hope my kids will glean the good stuff from me as they continue on their own journey.
Fitz
You’re a great dad Fitz. I love how you still make time to go to most if not all of your kids sporting events. Thats a big impact maker in a kids eyes, trust me.