Whether this is your first Mother’s Day as a bereaved person or your 50th, Mother’s Day brings all of us pause. As we take time to think about our own mothers or perhaps the children we are missing that made us mothers – it’s important that we be present with the reality of those relationships. If you can be with your mom and your children are well – you should freely have the full joy of this day. Take pictures, speak from your heart, and try to make clear memories of the sweetness of health and family.
If your relationships are no longer tangible and you are grieving for your mother or child, you may be dreading this Mother’s Day. But there is an intentional design behind the annual commemoration of Mothers and Fathers and it doesn’t preclude the deceased. These holidays exist to honor life and celebrate our significant relationships – past or present. Pausing each year to pay special attention to these relationships gives us gifts of perspective and appreciation. Practicing a meaningful observation of these holidays is healthy and full of meaning for us.
I want to invite you to prepare for this Mother’s Day – to intentionally and thoughtfully create your ways of remembering. Don’t let Mother’s Day sneak up on you and don’t miss the meaning it could hold for you.
These elements won’t take away the sting of grief but they will give you a place to focus that energy. Stifling or avoiding these opportunities to mourn, remember and cherish are unhealthy ways to go through these days. There is relief and gratefulness for people who give the time and effort, even just a few minutes, to honor our loved ones who have died. Don’t miss it, be in it.