To my loving daughter, my final words…
Eulogy: November 30, 2013
It is with a deeply broken heart that I speak to all of you today. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I thought a lot about how I was going to get myself through this. I started looking at Jessica’s photos, videos, and artwork and I started to realize that even though she was only with us for a short 17 years, I really started to grasp how much I loved her and how much joy she had brought to my life. She was such a wonderful baby. And as she grew older, she became such a character, on camera and off. I think she usually knew when the camera came on because that’s when her infectious personality really went into high gear. Her public displays of singing with grandpa, funny facial expressions, and oh yeah, Kirsten knows this one(stuffed hamburger face) and the simple goofiness that made it clear to all of us that she wanted everyone around her to be happy. She definitely wasn’t shy about it. And that’s what I liked about her the most. If I was feeling down, there she was with a big hug and kiss for her dad. Then I thought about all of the times spent camping, skiing, fishing, soccer games, cruises. Time also spent with family just doing the simple things in life. She liked it all. And as I see now, her artwork is absolutely amazing. She had a real talent for art. My favorite was her piece ‘Live by the Sun, Love by the Moon.’ There are so many precious memories that Jessica and I shared together and it is those memories that I am forever grateful for. And for Lindsey, Garrett, Kirsten, and Chandler: All of you had special relationships with Jessy that can never be taken away from you. I know it’s hard, but try not to be sad. You know Jessy wouldn’t want you to be. Trust me, she’s watching over all four of you. We know there were some very difficult times for her, but deep down inside, we all know who she really was, and that’s all that matters. That part of her never changed.
About a week before Jessica passed, I experienced a very personal and special encounter with my daughter. I had not seen her for quite some time. I was visiting Lindsey at the Mission Viejo mall and as I was leaving, I passed a keosk and on the corner of my eye I noticed Jessica. She was at work. We made eye contact and I approached her. It was a little awkward at first, but then we started to talk. I told her how much I missed her and since so much time had passed, that we should get together sometime to talk. I expressed to her that her daddy was there for her, anytime, anywhere. I told her it was unconditional. I updated her a little bit regarding the family. I told her that I loved her. She started to cry. I said ‘See ya soon’ and then I left. After walking a short distance away, I turned back to see her but she had stepped away and was gone. I never expected that to be our last meeting together. A day after her passing, my wife Christie came to me and told me that this was a gift from God and that since I had not seen her in so long, I was unknowingly given once last chance to see my baby girl. I was able to tell her how much I loved her. She was able to hear how I felt about her. When she started to cry, I knew she loved me too. I will never ever forget that moment, ever!
After Jessica had passed, I realized that all of her troubles had overwhelmed her and God, I firmly believe, stepped in to give her the peace and tranquility that she deserved. God recognized the pain, took over, gave her peace, and now has a different plan for her. Maybe it was to be by her grandma’s side in heaven. Maybe grandma was lonely and missed her grand daughter.
It is often said that God takes the young ones. She was my young one, my baby girl. I am hurting, we are all hurting. I have asked myself a thousand why’s, and maybe there just isn’t a why. But now I have to leave my trust in God and say goodbye, that God has made the right decision to take my baby girl from me, her mother, from all of us. Jessy touched our lives in so many special ways and now the Lord needs to spread her special gifts elsewhere. I have faith in that. I have to accept that. But I do know that wherever she is, she will always be watching over her Dad and the rest of us. So please, please, go rest now my little one. I love and miss you more than life itself. We will be together again, I promise.
Jessica, when grandma passed away, you stood before me and cried for her.
Today, your daddy stands before you and cries for you.
Your Daddy xoxoxoxo’s
Please view Jessica’s video tribute at