Obituary

16 February 2025

爱妻高华，江苏常州人。生于1933年4月4日，卒于2025年2月2日，享年92岁。

今天是爱妻的小型告别会。她安详地躺在这里，虽近在咫尺，又远在天涯！百感交集，痛心疾首！

爱妻高华的祖父是中学校长，父亲是溧阳最大面粉厂的厂长。她从小深受传统教育的影响。

我们相识于1951年暑假活动期间，我们惺惺相惜，一见钟情。1952年我体检查出了肺结核，她在1953年包送华东师大物理系的关健时刻，也查出了肺结核，从此改变了她的人生道路。

在那个极左的年代，由于父亲的失业，给家庭经济带来了很大的困难。1953年，她20岁就带病参加工作，挑起了50年代家庭困难的半壁重担。

爱妻高华是一个不甘落后、有强烈上进心的人。在同辈同事中，她的教育水平和教育成果总是名列前茅，很快成为宜兴教授之乡的一位高中教师。在上海工作期间，也作出过不凡的成绩。

爱妻高华，也是一位心地善良、乐于助人的人。在亲戚、同事、朋友和邻里中，受到许多好评与尊重。

我们1959年结婚。在那个特殊的年代，自己没有选择工作的权利，又碰上文革的动乱时期，我们婚后两地分居竞长达18年之久。在这18年中，您一边工作，一边照顾两个女儿的生活，使自己的身体陷入了崩溃的边缘，也影响了两个女儿的健康成长。

我们也有欢聚的短暂时光，暑假、寒假、春节，大都在上海度过，全家一起遛马路、逛公园、上馆子、买衣服、参加儿童游乐活动，享受天伦之乐。

爱妻高华，在面临两个女儿出国留学的困难时期，您与她们同呼吸、共命运，给她们开导、信心与力量，胜利踏上了留学的征程！

爱妻高华，我们还是幸运的。两个女儿已在美国成家立业，事业有成；退休以后，我们已在美国无忧无虑生活了10多年，观光了世界上主要的10多个国家，您爱好音乐，身历其境地聆听了维也纳金色大厅的演出；在我们生病其间，又享受到美国先进的医疗条件和巨额的医疗福利，使我们能够白头偕老，双双迈进90高龄。我们从女儿身上已经获得过多的补偿。

爱妻高华，您安息吧！我将尽我的余生与她们交流，补偿她们受伤的心灵。

爱妻高华，我们只是暂时的分离。很快，我们又将团聚在一起！

16 February 2025

My beloved wife Gao Hua, hailing from Changzhou, Jiangsu Province, was born on April 4, 1933, and passed away on February 2, 2025, at the age of 92. Today, we gather for a small farewell ceremony in honor of my dear wife. She lies here peacefully, close yet far away, and my heart is heavy with mixed emotions and deep sorrow.

Gao Hua’s grandfather was a high school principal, and her father served as the director of the largest flour mill in Liyang. From an early age, she was profoundly influenced by traditional education.

We first met on vacation in the summer of 1951, and it was love at first sight. In 1952, I was diagnosed with tuberculosis, and in 1953 – right when she was accepted into the physics program of East China Normal University – she was diagnosed with tuberculosis as well, which changed the course of her life.

During that socially tumultuous period marked by extreme political ideologies, her father’s forced unemployment led to significant economic hardship for the family. Despite being ill, she courageously entered the workforce at the age of 20, shouldering of her family’s burdens during the difficult 1950s.

Gao Hua is someone who never accepted mediocrity and possessed a strong drive for self-improvement. Amongst her peers, she consistently excelled in education and achievements: quickly becoming a respected high school teacher in the renowned professorial village of Yixing, as well as in the metropolis of Shanghai.

In addition to her accomplishments, Gao Hua was a kind-hearted and generous individual. She earned the admiration and respect of relatives, colleagues, friends, and neighbors alike.

We were married in 1959. In that challenging era, we lacked the freedom to choose our careers, and amidst the upheaval of the Cultural Revolution we endured an 18-year separation. During those years, she worked tirelessly while providing for our two daughters, often at the cost of her own health and their wellbeing. Yet, we also shared joyful moments during brief reunions: summer and winter vacations, Chinese New Year celebrations, all spent together in Shanghai. We would stroll through the streets, visit parks, dine out, shop for clothes, and partake in various children’s activities, reveling in family togetherness.

When our daughters faced obstacles in their pursuit of studying abroad, it was Gao Hua who stood by them: breathing life into their dreams, offering guidance, confidence, and strength, and ultimately helping them succeed in their journey.

We are fortunate. Our two daughters have built happy families and successful careers in the United States. After retirement, we enjoyed over a decade of worry-free life together, traveling to more than ten countries around the world. She had the joy of listening to a live orchestral performance in Vienna’s Golden Hall. When we would experience illnesses, we had access to advanced medical care and generous health benefits in the United States, allowing us to grow old together. We have already received a wealth of love and support from our daughters.

My beloved Gao Hua, may you rest in peace. I will dedicate the remainder of my life to supporting our daughters and healing their wounded hearts. Though we are temporarily separated, I know that soon, we will be reunited once more.