Obituary

Cara Walker Smith – a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, and to many, a friend, passed away on April 25^th at her home in Costa Mesa after a 15-year battle with lung disease, and ultimately, lung cancer. Living a life with lung disease did not stop Cara from being a bright light of warmth to all that knew her. She lived with strength, grace, and a fierce commitment to being the woman she wanted to be choosing not to be defined by her illness. Her kind nature made her a welcomed presence in any room with a smile that you can never forget. Her kindness, generosity, and thoughtfulness were constants in the lives of everyone fortunate enough to know her.

Cara was born in Pasadena and raised in Santa Barbara. As a child, she danced, played soccer, and loved animals—especially her pet “Lil Bunny.” From Laguna Blanca to Santa Barbara High, she formed friendships that would last a lifetime. Her charismatic personality and caring disposition was magnetic which led to Cara being named the homecoming queen her senior year in high school. Cara cherished her days in high school, beach days at Santa Claus lane, bagels from Jack’s, veggie burgers from Tinkers, or cramming her friends into her old car they lovingly called “Poo” for its classic ’80s color, but mostly the time she spent with her close friends she maintained till her final days.

Cara was proud to be the daughter of Marty and Jan Walker and the protective “little big sister” to Stacy. She admired her parents deeply and aspired to achieve all that they had. She continued her education at the University of Arizona where she completed a bachelor’s degree in psychology and art history. Later in life she became passionate in speech pathology and completed a bachelor’s degree from Cal State LA. She was an officer of Gamma Phi Beta and a big sister to many. She welcomed new members with her big heart, big smile, and caring way. It was here she earned some nicknames she would like to forget, like Cacawaka or Cbeast. She always laughed and never took herself too seriously. Cara loved college, her sorority, Bison Witches, the desert heat, and mostly, the experiences she shared with her close friends.

Cara and I shared our first date on November 15^th, 2003, and rarely spent a day a part there after. As a wife, Cara was everything I dreamed of. She was my wife, my best friend, and my soul mate. She was beautiful and smart, and brought a soft and calm presence to our marriage. She was humble and kind, always making time for my ambitions. She was caring and generous, showing her love in all the little ways—texts, voicemails, thoughtful gestures—each one reminding me that I was seen, supported, and deeply loved. It was those empathetic moments that gave me so much strength and confidence. She was wild and fun and together we built a wonderful life full of friends, adventures, and most importantly, our family. Cara’s confidence and strength always gave me the opportunity to pursue my dreams while she lived hers. Cara was always there doing all that she could to support our family. Nothing in this world gave Cara more joy then being with her family..

The role Cara cherished most was “Mom.” As a mom, Cara was at her best. She wanted to see the girls thrive and she never wanted to miss out on any moment in their life. She sacrificed so much to become a mom which made being a Mom her greatest achievement and gave her the most joy. She poured herself into every moment with Olivia and Sloane. Whether it was volunteering at school, leading a Brownie troop, planning a beach day, or surprising the girls with a trip to Disneyland, Cara was all in. She made sure they felt loved, seen, and celebrated. She loved to travel and give her girls the experiences she loved most. She filled our hearts with love every day creating so much joy with her thoughtfulness. So often she would welcome me home with a huge hug, a kiss, and my favorite cocktail. She would be busy making dinner with a huge smile glowing from ear to ear. She always told me she showed her love through her cooking. She put her heart into everything she made. Her passion for her family could be tasted every night at dinner. She loved to entertain, and nobody could put together a charcuterie board or a salad like Cara. As a new mom, Cara was trying to help her girls grow into incredible human beings. She joined groups with liked minded new moms. Focused on raising healthy and confident children, these relationships like so many before blossomed into close friendships. As Olivia and Sloane grew, so did Cara’s relationships with other Moms. Cara enjoyed the friendships and community of women she surrounded herself with. As her husband, it was amazing to see the many connections she built with so many over the years. I can’t forget “Buddy,’ her shadow, a little Brussels that looked like an Ewok that followed her everywhere.

Cara had a deep love for her family. Every year there was a negotiation between us to decide which family we would spend the holidays with. Cara was stubborn and relentless, she knew what she wanted and would always win, or I would let her win. It was obvious how much her family meant to her, and I could never take that away from her. Even those years when I was too sick to get out of bed, I knew I had no choice but to dig deep and make the evening celebration with her family. She was so excited to surround herself with her Aunts, Uncles, and cousins.

Cara was lighthearted, easy to smile, and always positive. She always found a way to have fun, to laugh, to dance, and to fill a room with joy. She was wild, stubborn, and strong. She was courageous and a warrior till the end. She lived with a quiet toughness that inspired everyone around her. Cara’s Catholic faith was a deep source of her strength. She found peace in her church and purpose in preparing our youngest to receive her First Communion. Cara was always thinking about others, no matter what was happening to her. After her tracheostomy, she woke up, grabbed her phone, and ordered flowers for a friend’s birthday. She was always generously giving her time to nurture her family and friends or to celebrate their achievements, selflessly putting others first. Cara loved every holiday, and she loved to decorate. She was always so festive and loved to show her spirit.

Cara always took my breath away each and every time I saw her. I will never forget the feeling I had when I looked across the room and saw her. She would be this bright light, smiling, laughing, enjoying life. I was honored to hold her hand in mine and live a life by her side. To learn from her kindness, her empathy, her generosity, her love. I will forever now live with the loss of her in my heart and soul, begging for one last embrace, one last “I love you,” seeking the happiness we had together. Her spirit is everywhere I go. I see her everywhere she touched my life with her love. The memories of our life together flash before my eyes every moment of my day. I can feel her spirit at home, our favorite spot on the couch, cooking a meal, sharing coffee on the porch. I can see her sitting shotgun like so many adventures before. I can hear her voice call out welcoming me home.  I look at my girls and I am overwhelmed with Cara’s spirit. Over the years, as the love we shared for each other deepened, our lives became woven together, as one. It seems impossible to move forward without her. My love for Cara will never fade away and I will forever miss her by my side. I was proud to be her husband. I still am.

We would like to share the funeral and vigil arrangements for Cara Smith:

• Vigil Service: Friday, May 30 at 8:00 PM
• Funeral Mass: Saturday, May 31 at 10:30 AM
• Private reception for close family and friends will follow the Funeral Mass at the home of Justin and Cara Smith at 12:00 pm.

Both services will be held at St. Joachim Catholic Church, 1964 Orange Ave, Costa Mesa, CA 92627. Please note that the burial will take place at a later date and time.

Cara’s favorite flowers were peonies, ranunculus, and hydrangeas — a reflection of her grace, beauty, and vibrant spirit. If you would like to bring a flower to the Funeral Mass in her honor, you are welcome to do so or if you prefer, you can donate to the National Scleroderma Foundation in her honor.