Obituary

Bruce Gregory Miller
August 16^th, 1952-January 4^th, 2024

Today, we honor the life of Bruce Gregory Miller.  On occasions like these, the tradition is to speak well of the fallen.  To say, “He was a good man, a good friend, a good husband, a good father…a good citizen.”

These accolades certainly suit Bruce.  He was all this and more. He was conscientious, reliable, loyal, and true to himself and his beliefs.  His character and honesty were exemplary.  He was empathetic, kind and selfless.

In the words of Shakespeare’s Macbeth:

“Your cause of sorrow must not be measured by his worth, for then it hath no end.”

But to say these things about Bruce is to call the Great Pacific a pond. The Great Sahara a sandbox. In truth, we haven’t scratched the surface.  We haven’t begun to tell his story.

In his novel The Crossing Cormac McCarthy wrote:

“Things separate from their stories have no meaning.  They are only shapes. Of a certain size and color. A certain weight. When their meaning has become lost to us they no longer have even a name.  The story on the other hand can never be lost from its place in the world for it is that place.”

Bruce’s story is really the story of Bruce and Gerry.  Together for 50 of Bruce’s 71 years, they shared a rare and special bond.

I think these lyrics from A Time to Wander by the Dillards summarize life for most of us.

There is a time for love and laughter
The days will pass like summer storms
The winter wind will follow after
But there is love and love is warm.

I was privileged to spend some time with Bruce and Gerry in that springtime of love and laughter. We once did a road trip across the country, singing, visiting tourist traps, making up silly songs, laughing at silly jokes, and reminiscing about our childhoods. We shared many other good times together but, true to the song lyrics, the days, the years, the decades passed as suddenly and quickly as summer storms.

Like all of us, Bruce and Gerry created many happy memories on their journey, but they too had to pass through some dark and difficult times.  Too many dark times really.  I think of the good, intelligent, and hard-working man Bruce was, and it seems to me that fate dealt him more than his fair share of bad hands. But Bruce and Gerry faced it all hand and hand and never wavered in their love for each other.

And then, true to the song lyrics, the winter winds did follow after… after those halcyon years “but there was love and love is warm”.  And that warmth was vital in that last long winter.

In those dark and difficult times Bruce was often weary and plagued with pain and frustration and Gerry, working fulltime and overtime at a difficult job and full-time and overtime as Bruce’s caregiver, was often beyond exhaustion.  And yet, even in those arduous hours, she never ceased to be there 24/7 to tend his needs, search endlessly for medical solutions to his problems and physical solutions to his discomforts.

And through each and every day of these troubled times and even on his last evening Bruce told his love and his wife of many years that he loved her… and that she was beautiful.  And Gerry, to his very last hour, never looked to her own needs, and she never wavered in her determination to do anything and everything in her power to help, comfort, and be there for the one true love of her life.

Gerry and Bruce spent nearly 50 years of their lives loving, caring, and sharing and leaning on each other.  By giving and receiving unconditional love so long and so well, Bruce and Gerry created and shared a deep, profound, and meaningful love – a love for the ages – a love that transcends even death, so that: (to paraphrase Poe),

“neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever (thy) soul from the soul…”
Of the one who was meant for thee.

Bruce was an inspiration and his passing a great sorrow.  But, we can take inspiration from the great love shared by Bruce and Gerry and remember the message in the song Nature Boy:

The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

 Eulogy written by Robert L. Hutton (Brother-in-Law)