Alicia Maria Stiles
August 20, 1960 - October 10, 2011
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Alicia Maria Stiles
August 20, 1960 - October 10, 2011
Obituary
Alicia Maria Perez Stiles, born August 20, 1960, passed away peacefully at home in the company of her loving family, October 10, 2011 after a three-year-long battle with cancer.
Ali will always be remembered as a proud wife, mother and friend. She was source of laughter, joy, and inspiration to those who loved her.
Her family’her role as mom, wife, daughter, and sister’ was incredibly important in her life. It was this commitment to family that brought her to San Clemente fifteen years ago. She made friends very quickly, not surprising considering her warm personality and sharp sense of humor. The community that she found here gave her loving support throughout her life, and, along with her family, helped her through the trying times of her medical ordeal.
She is survived by her husband Bill, daughters Cristy and Carly, mother Alicia, and brothers Guillermo and Gabriel, and all of her extended family and friends.
A memorial service will be held at St. Andrew’s By the Sea (2001 Calle Frontera, San Clemente, CA 92673) on Sunday, October 23 at 2 pm.
Donations can be made to the USC Norris Cancer Research Center in Ali’s name at http://uscsom.convio.net/goto/ali.stiles.
36 responses to Alicia Maria Stiles
Diana Stiles Friou says:
October 21, 2011
Ali and I had a relationship that was very unique. We were classmates, sisters (in-law), Billy adorers, and co-travelers down the motherhood road. Our paths would not cross for stretches of time and then, when they crossed next, we just picked right up where we had left off. Of course we laughed together that’s Ali, after all but in addition to sharing the cosmic joke, Ali gifted me with authentic wisdom.
Billy and Ali first struck up a relationship in our senior year in high school. Upon graduating, she and I both left for college, and after graduating college the two of them met again. When Ali and I next saw each other I asked her how she handled running into her old high school flame after college. She told me that when she saw Billy she walk right up and said (head cocked, hands on hips, using her faux southern accent), “Why Billy, you’re a man!” I couldn’t help cracking up but I walked away with a new perspective on my “little brother” in fact, I hadn’t consciously thought about him this way and she was right he had become a man.
Years later, at the Stiles family reunion in St. Augustine, we stayed up all night together talking about our own childhoods and the lessons we wanted to bring from them into our own children’s lives.
“When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?” I asked her.
“It never mattered that much to me; I was fine just being,” she answered.
And of course I couldn’t help cracking up. But I was left thinking about how parents really do create an environment for their children that is saturated with their own projections of their children’s futures. I decided that I would be conscious of this tendency Ali was right; just being is absolutely very fine.
Fast forward in time to when I learned of Ali’s cancer diagnosis. I called Ali and we had one of our long conversations. This time we talked about being mothers and how we lived with the aspiration for our children to fully experience a life rich with emotion and connection. We agreed that to know joy one must also be vulnerable to grief at times. We knew we had to let go of our powerful desire to protect our children from life’s pain. This time I wasn’t laughing, only wishing that she and Billy and Christy and Carly could be protected from cancer.
One time, when Christy was a sophomore in high school (I think) and she was visiting Mimi’s house along with all of Billy’s sisters, Christy said to me, “It’s really strange to think about how all these people I barely even know love me and would help me if I ever needed them to.” I agreed with her, that it is a curious fact. I also told her that it may seem too strange to believe at times, but that she should know it is true and not to forget it.
So to Christy and Carly and Billy I want to remind you that I really do love you, and that I knew and loved Ali. I know that with the passage of some time, the wisdom that Ali shared with her laughter will prevail — laughing at Billy’s jokes, at Billy, at all of us, at herself, and at how sometimes it is damn funny just to be.
Diana
Tim Coonan says:
October 21, 2011
What great memories of a wonderful person who was the pillar of a wonderful family. I will never forget some of the family trips – Palm Springs by the poolside, the spontaneous “meet us at the Mandalay Bay” for time at the beachside wavepool., Meeting us in London and re-negotiating a killer new hotel room (and leaving the shoebox rooms behind), experiencing Michelle and Allie navigate our way thru the Tubes while Tim and Bill desprerately searched for a pub. The Mummies at the London Museum, Madam Tussaud’s, and eating dinner on the banks of the Thames. All of this being capped off with the “We Will Rock You” – the Queen rock musical before we went home and the Stiles went onto France and Italy. Then there was the Hornblower cruise with Hootie and Blowfish. Ali grabbing Michelle’s hand and pushing their way up to the front and realizing they were as tall as Darius Rucker (Hootie). What a crackup! Then seeing Lyle Lovette at Humphries was cool too.
Ali was such a loving and concerned person always staying in touch with the kids activities – even our little Marcus. You touched so many people in so many ways. Congratulations on raising two beautiful young women with your amazing husband – you will be missed my friend.
Love Tim Coonan
Kathy Zombolas says:
October 22, 2011
Lit a candle in memory of Alicia Maria Stiles
Bill Stiles says:
October 24, 2011
Link to Memorial Service Video
http://vimeo.com/30675207
Lourdes Pita Geller says:
October 25, 2011
Dear Bill:
I’m truly moved by such a beautiful tribute to Ali….Even though her life was cut short, these pictures show what a very beautiful life it was! Thanks for sharing them with all who loved her.
Love,
Lourdes