The Difference a Remembrance Service Makes for those grieving at Christmas
The service has beautiful live music, a photo presentation of those being honored, a time when their names are read-a-loud, and finally, everyone stands and places a candle on the steps in memory. And then, after the tears, we all exit to treats and warm drinks and slowly, but always surely, conversations turn to stories and laughter and we all leave lighter and glad for the night.
This year I felt it deeply, the deep aching sigh of grief that somehow, after letting it happen, left me feeling able to go out and into the rest that December had to offer. In thinking about it, I realized that when we are intentional about taking time to mourn, we claim something: we allow our grief rather than avoid it. I hesitate to say we “take control” of our grief because I’m not sure that’s something anyone can do. But, practically, we know grief is there and if it’s there, we are wise to tolerate the pain and let it be.
I think it’s so appropriate at our Candlelight Service that everyone places a small candle in memory and together, they illuminate the dark with our love and grief. Seeing a physical representation of grief is powerful and then seeing that grief can create something beautiful is just poetry.
If you are grieving this Christmas and didn’t get to attend the Candlelight Service or maybe you did and you need something more, I would strongly encourage you to find a way to allow and tolerate your grief.
There are so many ways you can pause to remember. Allow the time to go the way you want it to – either planning it out or letting it build organically. You cannot do it wrong.
So, if you are feeling anxiety, worry, or sorrow approaching Christmas I encourage you to indulge those emotions, let them out. Take the deep sigh of grief, let it out and let it open you up to the hope and possibility of light and laughter this holiday season.
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