Mother’s Day without Mom, it changes everything.
What do you do?
How do you “celebrate” the day?
It is my mom’s first Mother’s Day without her mom. None of the usual, sweet birthday cards came from my grandma last month when we celebrated 3 family birthdays. Since she died a few months ago, small things have changed in my world, but much bigger things have changed in my mom’s world.
Talking to my mom the other day she said, “I’m just really missing her. I feel like I should call her because I haven’t in a while – and then I remember. But it’s okay.”
“It’s okay.” To some extent, it is okay. My grandmother died in her late 80’s after a long life; she loved us, we loved her, and she was tired of being a widow. We all feel relieved that she’s free of her hurting body and at rest with her family before her.
It’s okay to miss her, too. She is worth missing.
If you’re facing another or a first Mother’s Day without your mom, I want to tell you I am so sorry. Mom’s are precious to us no matter what the relationship looks like – a Mom is irreplaceable.
Find some time to create a sacred moment, a moment that honors your Mom and the type of relationship you had with her. Since all of our bonds with others are so unique, we probably all have something specifically special between us and our moms – how wonderful.
Bake a cake. Watch Steel Magnolias. Put your feet in the pool. Smoke a cigar.
Make time for a sacred moment with your mom, she’ll love it.
And have a meaningful Mother’s Day.
I cannot imagine the pain someone experiences their first mother’s day without their mom, and the ones after. I remember distinctly my grandma would still cry so many years after losing her own mother, like it was still fresh. It is definitely important to create those meaningful memories, because inevitably they will only be memories one day.
My sweet Molly,
My first thought, as I lay in bed reading this with tears streaming down my face, is how in the world am I so lucky as to be blessed by God with a daughter such as you? My second thought was admiring your giftedness as a writer: You have the ability to not only move people emotionally, but to paint a beautiful mental picture with your words. Thank you for expressing the “bittersweet” mother’s day many of us will be having. “Meaningful” is the right word and the right intention. I will have a “happy” mother’s day because I will be spending it with you, my sweet daughter. And I will have a “meaningful” one by having that cigar. I miss my mom… but it’s ok. She understands. I’m so thankful that our relationship was so wonderful that I miss it.
Love you and look forward to this afternoon.
Thank you for your awareness that Mother’s Day can be a heartbreaking day for so many! I hope that time can soften the pains of grief and allow beautiful memories to stream through.
Hi Molly –
I love the inspiration you share with us! That fact that we still can honor, celebrate and remember our Mother’s after they leave this earth is a beautiful and thoughtful idea. The more we honor the more we can celebrate and live fully. You have been a great advocate for us to create traditions that are sometimes lost in our busy world. Namaste! XOXO
I remembered my mother in a very special way. Pastor Mike asked me to close the service at our church with a talk. I chose to remember my mother and her powerful prayers for her children that they could hear in the dark as they went to sleep at night and again in the morning as they were waking up. Prayers do not die when a person dies. Prayers remain in the heart of God and are answered, sometimes multiple times. I am a product of my mother’s prayers. It was a pleasure to be able to honor her in this way and to hopefully inspire others to continue to be faithful in their fervent, everlasting prayers.