An Interview with a Cancer Patient: Kori and Breast Cancer

I’ve known Kori for a LONG time. Her story is one that can only be described as miraculous on steroids. For a long time Kori’s story was drug addiction, alcoholism, theft, and prison. Change began happening in her and soon treatment and recovery were added to her story. At last, this year saw opening up before her a life of integrity and freedom that she began living with a tenacity and grace that amazed me.

Then, 134 days ago, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

I sat down with her the day after her last chemo treatment to see how her life, her mind and her heart have been changed for the better and worse by cancer. Here’s what she had to say.

How do you think your perspective has changed since cancer?

 

It has changes quite a bit. Drug and alcohol treatment changed my perspective – but not enough. I still thought trivial things were important after that but now, there are things that are just NOT important. Being the fastest person on the road, not important. Getting there safely, important. Disagreeing with people over silly things, not important. Making memories, living in the movement – important. The bottom line, not important. Taking care of each other, important. Finishing together, that’s what’s important.

The entire disease has been a blessing, it has opened my eyes to so many things. It has brought me so much joy in the face of something so horrible. To endure the chemo and actually feel like “this must be what dying feels like” and then be surprised daily with gifts or encouragement and life from friends and SO many strangers has just completely overwhelmed me.

I am determined to live a life of trying to giving back in accordance with all that I have received.

What would you say about your own cancer journey?

Life doesn’t stop when you find out you have cancer. Food, medicine, gas, bills don’t stop just because you get sick.

I had to leave my job that I loved to move in with my mom who lived far away from my friends and community.

It wasn’t real until the port was put in and it was devastating. I have this foreign object inside of me and this scar on my chest. I thought I’d been through enough … I’d just turned 40 and I was really excited, hoping to find and meet someone. I had a job I loved, a family that I could finally see, children that I have a great relationship with … and then it all changed. I was mad. I couldn’t work out, I had to take chemo, I lost my hair, and I didn’t want to be sick. The sick really took me by surprise. I tried to do normal things and then just felt terrible. I realized I couldn’t “be normal,” I couldn’t do things I wanted to do.

Giving up my life, my hiking, my beach, my summer – the season I live for because I can be in my most favorite place just sucked. I feel like I lost a lot.

Are there questions you wish people would ask that don’t get asked?

I like people to talk to me instead of stare at me.

I like the question, “Is your bald head a fashion statement or are you going through something?”

I most appreciate when people acknowledge my fight. I have strangers hug me and tell me, “I had a double mastectomy and I’m fiver years clean.” Those get me and change the feeling of my day in a positive way dramatically.

For those facing Breast Cancer … what would you tell them?

  • Smile.
  • Read encouraging stuff like this everyday:
  • It’s all in your attitude. Don’t let the thought of cancer beat you, you can’t. It’s mind over matter – the power of positive thoughts AND actions. Find something that brings happy to you everyday; for me it was my future, going back to school, the thought of writing my book, and sharing my story.
  • I have too much that I want to do and I’m determined to accomplish it. I love my life, I’ve re-built this life, I went through too much to be here and cancer is not going to stop me.
  • Be willing to let your purpose evolve and change, everything is always changing.
  •  I have so much strength in me now that I feel like I can be a strength for somebody else.

… Amazing right?

Following Kori’s cancer journey on Facebook has been so wonderful and heartbreaking to see. My favorite comment of hers on cancer simply stated this:

“I am the happiest person with cancer. It’s leaving my body and I’m thankful for that. But everything that has happened to me when I got cancer has been a blessing to me.”

 

If you would like to help Kori out by making a donation to help her keep up with the bills that don’t stop just because cancer starts, please click here.

 

|| what do you think?

– Do you have a cancer story, your own or a loved one’s?

– What did you learn from it?

– How has it changed your life?

Molly Keating
Molly Keating
Hello! I'm Molly and I run & manage the Blog here at O'Connor. I grew up in a mortuary with a mortician for a father who's deep respect for the profession inspired me to give working at a mortuary a try. Work at O'Connor has brought together two of my deep passions, writing & grief awareness. In 2016 I earned Certification in the field of Thanatology, the study of Death, Dying and Bereavement. I am honored to be able to speak on these taboo topics with knowledge, compassion, and a unique perspective. I want to sincerely thank you for following & reading the blog, I hope that this is a healing place for you.

18 Comments

  1. Stacy says:

    Very insightful perspective and outlook on such a horrible cancer. I really enjoyed reading and feeling Koris’ positive energy and good sense of humor through her expression and thoughts on cancer. Although it can be a constant struggle it seems to me that Kori is never let down by her family and friends; even total strangers who are inspired by her strength; just constantly surrounded by loving and caring people. Stay high spirited and never give up! Wishing you all the best!

  2. Jeff Turner says:

    Molly and Kori,
    Thank you for this bittersweet peak into this last six-plus months. Kori, you were an inspiration before your diagnosis and you are even more so now. Your true character is being revealed through all of this and it is the very best of humankind. I look forward to the celebrations ahead and pray for the hard times in between. Your transformation over the last number of years proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that people can and do change for the better when they are able to choose to.

    I love you and pray for you often and especially now as the affects of this last chemo have taken hold and are playing out their brutal symptoms upon your body. Somehow, you, the real you, chemo cannot brutalize. Rather, your resolve seems strengthened and your outcome even more secured day by day.

    Love and hugs sweet girl,

    Jeff

  3. Chuck RIcciardi says:

    Molly,

    Thanks for allowing us a peek, a peek into a journey that is certainly life changing. How it is life changing however is up to the individual, not the disease.

    Kori,
    How powerful it is when we take things head on and do not play the victim in this life. You as much as anyone would have the right to throw in the towel, to just give up and say I cannot do this. But I believe your life has prepared you and given you the strength to not throw in the towel and to take whatever comes your way head on. I was devastated when I heard the news. You were in such a good place and you had overcome so much and then this. Once again you are the beacon that shows the way out of the storm. You will thrive and your story will continue to inspire. Thank you for sharing it.

    Love,
    Chuck

  4. Elsa says:

    Molly,
    Great Blog. What an incredible story of perseverance. All that she has gone through in life and still have a positive outlook is inspiring. Looking forward to the day we here the Good News that Cancer is Gone! All the best wishes and prayers to Kori and her family.

  5. Kari Lyn Leslie says:

    Molly,

    Thanks so much for interviewing my sister! She means the world to me, and I hope that sharing her with so many will touch souls and change lives.

    Kori,

    Where to begin? You have been the ball for some of your life, but now for MOST of your life you’re gonna be and are the Louisville Slugger!! I’m so proud of your strength and tenacity. I am looking forward to many years watching how God blesses you and you bless others. You have a story that inspires and your spark will ignite others to tackle trials head on and use them for personal growth.

    Love you to the Moon and Back!!

    Sissy

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