Connection and Kindness: How We’re Different
We love feedback and part of my job at O’Connor is to meet with families we have recently served to collect their responses, experiences & stories of their time with us.
I love asking the question,
“So, why O’Connor?”
Many families have had a previous experience with us and we are who they trust. Some chose us because of what I call “The Six Degrees of O’Connor” – their kids went to school with one of the O’Connor children or grandchildren, or they know Joe & Jane O’Connor from church, their community or other organizations. Other people I sit with mention driving by for years and knowing this is where they would come when they needed a mortuary.
Recently there has been a trend on an answer that makes me so proud. “Out of the three mortuaries we interviewed, O’Connor was the only one who asked about our loved one.”
Isn’t that sad? If we aren’t in this business to connect with others and care about the loss that has been suffered, we shouldn’t be doing this.
Photo Courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/RapidEye
I’ve found that most of the people calling the mortuary for the first time have a need to talk through what has just happened to them, what they’ve just lost. While they may call with the goal of obtaining the cost for our services, once they are treated with kindness and compassion – and not as a transaction – they are able to talk about what really matters. Once the conversation moves into their life and that of the dear one they have lost, I’ve noticed a marked relaxation in the voice on the other end of the line, they are connecting with me, I am a person, not the credit card machine they talked to at the other place.
This idea of connection and kindness translates into any interaction. I recently decided to try a new dry cleaner. I first walked in and saw the racks were full of clothes – this indicated to me they have many satisfied clients and I quickly learned why this is the case. The owner, Jenny, is the sweetest lady and was concerned that one of my suits still had the tags on it. “Have you tried this on? It’s okay?” She showed concern over removing tags until she knew I was pleased with my purchase. Her concern for her clients is what has brings her so much repeat business. We are people to her, not a transaction.
When I moved to Aliso Viejo several months ago, I had to find a kennel to board my dogs for a few days during the moving process. I went and toured a facility called Pet Suites. I was not only impressed by how clean it was, but by the active interest they took in my dogs from the start.
Now Pet Suites is the only place I would take Max and Bella for boarding or a day of “doggie daycare”. They call my dogs the “Bristol Kids” when they come in and at the end of the day when I pick them up I get a full report on how they played, if they didn’t act quite right or if Max had to be pulled out for bad behavior.
They have made a connection by treating my dogs as if they are part of their family.
We are not just a transaction to them.
Treating people with kindness should always be our highest goal. It is the lasting impression I want anyone calling O’Connor to have. Another proud moment for me when meeting with families is when they say “Everyone here is just so nice.” Those are lasting memories they take away.
|| what do you think?
Can you remember a time you were treated as a credit card instead of a person?
Have you stopped using a business you relied on for years after realizing they no longer made an effort to maintain a connection?
Has your family been served by O’Connor Mortuary? Please share your stories of who left a lasting impression on you.
60 Comments
Lori,
We strive for perfection, and we catch excellence. I think that’s how Chris says it. I know it’s a quote from someone else, but I like it. It really sums up our experiences here. Our families mean so much to us, and it shows. We are so blessed!!
Kari
Kari,
I like that quote as well. There is no perfection here and now, but we know we will get to experience it one day. Until then, excellence works for me!
We are extremely blessed…..how many people can say they would keep coming to work if they won the Lotto tomorrow? I absolutely would keep coming to meet the families we are fortunate to have trust us with their care.
Thank you for your comments….
Love,
Lori
Thank you for sharing this. Your commitment to our families is very commendable. But again that’s what we do. Every person is important to someone and should be treated that way. It is hard to sum up a persons life in a 10 minute eulogy. Families want to know if they will be treated with respect and treated with the dignity they deserve. Thanks for your caring and all you do.
Mitch,
I, in turn, would like to thank you for all you do. I have heard a lot of great feedback from families whose services you have directed. The one that sticks out the most for me is a family who had some difficult dynamics. One member of the family was left to sit alone at the back of the service. You offered to sit with her so she would not be alone. Those acts of kindness are what O’Connor stands for. It is not something that can be trained to or taught. It is the gift that is given of a compassionate heart and you certainly have that.
Thank you, Mitch!
Lori
Lori,
Thanks for sharing and your commitment to the families we serve, getting the feedback is an important part of helping us to improve and become even better. You made me think of a time Melaney and myself made a purchase of some furniture from a store in Rancho Cucamonga that Melaney’s mom recommended. As the sales guy was writing everything up he asked about delivery we both braced ourselves expecting the worse when we asked if they would deliver from their small little store to us all the way out in Tustin. His reply surprised us when he said “Of course you drove all the way here from Tustin to do business with me I’ll deliver your items anywhere.”
Jon,
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Also, thank you for your kind words about the Family Care appointments. I do enjoy this time with families and hearing how great they think the team is. There is occasionally feedback that a detail was missed or did not go exactly as planned. We could beat ourselves up and think of them as failures, or as you have said, we can use them to improve and become even better!
I enjoyed your story about the furniture salesman. I think that even though businesses know service is key to keeping their doors open, they are not always committed to providing that level of service.
This guy you dealt with sounds like he totally gets it.
He made you feel valued as his customer and in turn I am sure that is where you and Melaney will go next time you need to purchase furniture.
Thank you for sharing this experience with us…..
Lori
Thanks for sharing Lori!
I agree with Jen’s comment that it is hard to believe that others would not put relationship first over the task that needs to be taken care of, especially when a family is going through a difficult time. It’s easy to just get a job done, but when it is your profession, it should be done with care and with passion.
Lauren,
It is hard for you to believe others would not put relationship first because you “get it” 110%! I have had the privilege to speak with you one on one and watch you grow significantly in your roles as Service Director and Arrangement Specialist. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Your passion, dedication and commitment to giving the families you work with perfect service is evident. I know how hard you take it if you think even the slightest detail was missed.
I mentioned earlier in a response to Erin that we all have a story that has brought us through these doors. I truly believe we are able to draw from the losses we have experienced to be able to feel with families and want only the best for them. This is simply because we know how we wanted to be treated on our darkest days.
I can’t wait to watch your star continue to shine!!
XOXO Lori
Thank you, Lori!
We each want to be treated with caring and kindness and as a person, and it is so great that O’Connor recognizes and honors that need. It makes all the difference in the world!
Rosemary
PS I cannot even begin to imagine that Max could be guilty of bad behavior. Just look at that sweet, precious face!
Ro!
Aren’t we fortunate to work for a family owned and operated business that truly focuses on “family”? We not only strive for flawless with the families we serve, but we strive for excellence with our internal “family” as well. Relational health is important to our management team. They have made it an important part of their training agenda.
When families make comments such as, “Your bosses really know what they are doing when it comes to hiring. Everyone we have talked to has been so wonderful”. I let them know that this is not by accident. Our owners are very focused on making sure the O’Connor “family” is prepared relationally and through professional development to give our families the best experience possible. When I tell them our value and service is unsurpassed, I know that to be true so I can state it with confidence.
As far as Max goes…..don’t be fooled by the face….I am a sucker for it, but the behavior is, in fact, that of a spoiled, naughty boy…..
Love,
Lo