“How Do You Handle Working at a Mortuary?” | A Labor Day Special

“How Do You Handle Working at a Mortuary?” | A Labor Day Special

I often wondered what Labor Day was as a kid, what did I care, I got time off from school was my thinking. As I got older I began to understand the reasoning behind the three-day weekend. Other then the unofficial end-of-summer, this day was a chance to stop and celebrate the everyday heroes of this country. This country was not built by the Rockefellers or the Carnegies, it was built on the backs of the everyday laborer. These are the people that sacrifice for their families and their country to work as a team, to build or do something great. So as I take pause today to recognize this it makes me think of where I got my work ethic.

Unequivocally it was from my dad. My dad was not necessarily a laborer; he was a well-educated man graduating as an aeronautical engineer from Penn State. But he worked hard to be where he was and he always instilled in me the virtue of hard work as well as smart work. He did this not so much by telling me, although he did that as well, but by showing me. Getting up early everyday and working to achieve a worthy goal with a worthy team showed this to me. He almost never called in sick and ended up loyally working with one company almost his entire career. As a culture we worship our sports and movie stars, heck even some of us worship our politicians, but it’s the common man, men like my father who command our respect. It is these tireless men and women that labor & sacrifice daily to achieve a quality of life for their own family who we admire and celebrate today.

Photo Source: ellefried.tumblr.com

Photo Source: ellefried.tumblr.com

 

Because of what I witnessed my work ethic was strong from a very young age. My first job was as a paperboy at 12 years old. I had arguably one of the hardest paper routs in San Diego due to the volume and hilly terrain. I threw the San Diego Union newspaper to 120 homes every single morning starting at 5am. I never took a day off, not even for Christmas.

To get my second job I lied about my age and was paid under the table at an Italian restaurant washing dishes at the age of 14. You talk about hard work. I kept in the restaurant business for many years laboring hard and working many long hours. I then moved into sales within the industry and got a taste of how life is working on 100% commission.

Finally, I landed here at O’Connor (I married the [then] bosses daughter) and the hard work did not stop. I wasn’t given any special treatment, believe me. I was on-call to assist with transfers of the deceased at night. Some nights getting 2-3 calls in the middle of the night and then having to wake up (if I went to sleep at all) to work a double shift from 8am to 9pm the next day.

But, through all of this I was equipped and trained to handle the privilege of helping families that were experiencing a death. A year I became a licensed funeral director and  my life changed forever.

Photo Courtesy of lillyunique.tumblr

Photo Courtesy of lillyunique.tumblr

 

This isn’t an easy job, as you can imagine, working with grieving people is sad and difficult. In the beginning I sometimes wondered if this really  was my final destination. But as I began to experience the fulfillment that came from serving and creating a meaningful and healing event that helped people with their grief – I realized that this was it. As weird as it sounds, this is the most rewarding of all my jobs. To be able to come along side people and help them through what is the most difficult journey of their life is an honor and to this day it’s not something I take lightly.

22 years later I still think back and appreciate all I have learned from my co-laborers, we have become family, and I’m so blessed to be with them on a daily basis. Thank you Dad and thank you to all of the great American laborers that have made this country great, past, present and future. Happy Labor Day!

Where did you get your work ethic?

What was your first job?

What is rewarding about your work?

Molly Keating
Molly Keating
Hello! I'm Molly and I run & manage the Blog here at O'Connor. I grew up in a mortuary with a mortician for a father who's deep respect for the profession inspired me to give working at a mortuary a try. Work at O'Connor has brought together two of my deep passions, writing & grief awareness. In 2016 I earned Certification in the field of Thanatology, the study of Death, Dying and Bereavement. I am honored to be able to speak on these taboo topics with knowledge, compassion, and a unique perspective. I want to sincerely thank you for following & reading the blog, I hope that this is a healing place for you.

21 Comments

  1. Becky Finch Lomaka says:

    Thank you, Chuck. I too, feel I developed my work ethic from my parents – both working for the same companies until they retired. It has been interesting to hear people ask me the same question: “You work for a mortuary?” It certainly makes for interesting dinner conversation! Having just lost my brother, I now have a whole new appreciation and understanding of our profession and the excellent care and commitment our entire staff gives to each and every family we serve. I do not be believe that it is coincidence that you married a funeral director’s daughter. You are meant to be here and I am proud and honored to work for you.

    • Chuck says:

      Becky,
      We sometimes lose focus on the impact we have on people’s lives working here at O’Connor. Nothing reminds us quicker then when a death hits home. I’m so sorry you now are traveling on this journey of grief. I sometimes wonder how we all landed her together. Is it destiny, divine will, blind coincidence, we may truly never know. However, I feel there is a deeper reason and that all of us have been put in these roles to help our fellow men and women on their own journey. Thank you for all you do for us and our families and I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

      Chuck

  2. Chuck,
    I like you had an amazing father who was an excellent model for me of what it looks like to work for and sacrifice for your family. I’ve always been amazed at my dad’s selflessness as he gives over unplanned hours to families and people in need. I am so grateful for the example he was for me all growing up and that he still is for me today. Now, working with him in the same office I see even more clearly that his devotion is not just to his “work” but to the relationships and connectedness that he has with those around him. He’s always free to stop & listen, to share a story or give some of his wisdom.

    I want to be just like that. Thanks for sharing this great blog!

    • Chuck says:

      Molly,
      You learn well… I agree with you, your Dad is a great man with lots to offer. I also agree that strong work ethic does not just mean long hours and putting your nose to the grind stone. It absolutely encompasses relationships and the importance of building and nurturing them. This is the most important in my book, to be able to put others before self and sacrifice for the betterment of the whole. Love… you either care for it or lose it. Thank you for being a great student and I have a feeling that the master is learning from the student now! I appreciate you very much and all the hard work you put in to moving our company forward into the 21st century, keep it up.

      Chuck

  3. Joe Lavoie says:

    Thank You for sharing a side of you I did not know about Chuck , I as you did get my work ethics from my father and was able to get my first job because of him. I also have to add my father at the time was my boss and I did not get any special treatment at all even if I tried to slack off at times it never continued very long. Because of this specialized training and guidance from my father I am able to see what is rewarding about my current position at O’Connor it is to serve others and we all do this with our very best care. I am proud to be able to work side by side with a quality team as we have and appreciate your guidance in the many times that I have asked for your help. Sincerely Joe

    • Chuck says:

      Joe,

      It also makes me proud to work along side you and the rest of our awe inspiring team. I admit I put a little emphasis on “O’Connors” when asked where I work, especially if the person asking is from our industry. We have built up an incredible reputation of being honest and ethical when serving the wonderful families of our community. This was accomplished not through fancy cars and buildings or slick marketing campaigns but by the incredible and compassionate team we have. As we have been preaching lately our advantage over our competitors is our organizational health of caring and serving each other. We have been through a lot over the years my friend, we have seen our company and each other grow, morph and change for the better. Thank you for being in the boat with us, I appreciate you and your great work ethic and talent.

      Chuck

  4. Neil O’Connor says:

    Hi Chuck
    What a great tribute to your Dad! I have so much respect for your Dad in how he raised you and what he has done personally for me, I will always be grateful to Tony! I am also grateful to you for the support and friendship you have given me, God knows family business can be tricky, and I am thankful for you, Jeff & Fitz. My work ethic has come from my parents as well, both my Mom & Dad, taught me many great life lessons. Mainly enjoy what you do with passion and it will never feel like ‘work”. My first job was bussing tables at a local restaurant, from there I moved up in many different positions, dishwasher, waiter, bartender, assistant manger. Like you I enjoy serving our families and our team, helping our community with meaningful ceremonies that lead to healing.

    • Chuck says:

      Neil,
      Yes, I owe a lot to my Dad and as you acknowledged to my partners, you, Jeff and Fitz. You three have also demonstrated to me a high work ethic and high ethics for many years. Family and business have been described as oil and water, the two do not mix well. But with your help we have managed to work, play and build a great business while maintaining what is most important in life, our relationships. I would be remiss if I did not include your Dad, Joe O’Connor on the list of big influencers in my life. He demonstrated an incredible work ethic to all of us over the years. His compassion for serving grieving families without regard to time or place has influenced me to this day. Thank you Neil for your friendship and compassion, I truly feel like you are a brother of mine.
      Love you.

      Chuck

  5. Anne says:

    HI Chuck
    I also was born into a family of honest, ethical people and raised with a strong work ethic. I grew up with: “Whatever you do, do it with your whole heart.” It was the honorable thing to do your job well, with all you have at your disposal. Act as if it were your own company, your own money, your own reputation you were guarding.
    My first job beyond babysitting was assistant to the assistant school principal of the high school I attended. I worked long and hard, directly after school and worked in the personal files of all the students, so learned discretion at a young age. I left there, ate a quick dinner and babysat for 4 children, including a newborn from 530-930 every night. I had to feed them, clean up, help with homework, get them to bed and do my own homework. I walked to and home from the job in the dark, even in the winter, in Michigan, lugging my schoolbooks.
    Lou always said I had trouble relaxing, always feeling like there was something more I should be doing. I am trying to get better at that part, but it doesn’t come as easy as just getting things done.
    I love working at the mortuary with you and all the rest. It has been a blessing in more ways than one over the years. Thanks for a great post. Annie

    • Chuck says:

      Annie,
      I have seen you demonstrate that incredible work ethic for well over 15 years now. Once that is instilled in you at an early age it sticks doesn’t it. We are fortunate to be born into families that can demonstrate this virtue to us. Being on the financial side of the O’Connor operation you have put the discretion you learned at an early age to great use. You have been a long time member of an incredible team and a big reason for all our success. Thank you for all you do for us and thank you for your incredible work ethic, demonstrated daily.
      Love you.

      Chuck

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